Since I spent the night watching Glee with Jake and it’s almost 9pm here, I figured I might as well catch up on posting about the yearlong classes. So here is March.
I am taking two year-long classes at Big Picture Classes this year. I am pretty sure you must have heard of both. Even though these are not amazing, I still thought it would be fun to post my progress each month. If for no other reason than to record things.
Here are my OLW pages for March:
my one-thing was two things. one was to go out to breakfast 3 times and the other was to drive on the free way 3 times in March. And despite the difficult months, I accomplished both:
here it is open:
And then here’s the Move More, Eat Well page for March. Looks like I didn’t photograph it in my album but I do have the page:
And here we go. That’s where we are now. I will post a April update soon.
I read Breakfast with Buddha in two days. It was for a new book club and I had just a few days to finish it.
It’s an easy read and didn’t take me long to get through it. I hadn’t read anything by the author before so I had no idea what to expect. To be honest, I didn’t even know if it was fiction or nonfiction while I was reading it (it’s fiction) but I did enjoy it.
I wouldn’t say it’s one of the best books I’ve read or that it was amazing but it certainly was thought-provoking at parts and made for a fun book club discussion.
And here’s the spread for week sixteen (i have come to believe i will never take good photos of these :)):
here’s a closer up of the left side:
Sorry for the blurring of the art. This week’s art was for an upcoming blog hop so I am keeping it safe till then. The stories here are: david and nathaniel’s love, david losing his tooth, david’s stickers on his sketchbook, the boys hanging out in the yard.
And here’s the right side:
The first one here is a new tradition we started with David where we both individually spend a little extra time with David on a date so he can get some alone time with both of us. The next one is Nathaniel’s sharing at school and then our playground fun.
My art and our family photo along the bottom as usual.
So there we go. So far, so good. Still enjoying this project a lot.
Happy Savoring.
The Savor Project was supposed to be a weekly project for 2012. You can read about my setup here.
I’ve been thinking about planning vs not planning. And while I’m generally a huge fan of planning (as I am sure you know if you read here at all) I’ve also become a big believer in nonplanning at times, too.
So for things that are hard and require motivation, you want to plan. For example, things like exercise. At least for me. I’ve noticed in the last month that if I don’t have a plan (however small) for what I will eat during the day, I either eat garbage all day long or I eat nothing and then find myself completely famished at the end of the day. Neither of which is healthy or sustainable. I need to plan the food better.
Same goes for things that you know you love to do but don’t tend to prioritize. For example, I need to plan going out with friends. I always seem to enjoy myself when I have a nice chat with a good friend. Or even with a new friend. I feel energized (and, yes, a bit spent, too) the rest of the day. My head is filled with ideas. My spirit is renewed. And I got to go out and have some sunshine. All of which is good for me. But I rarely make time for this. It seems like too much work. And since I am almost always perfectly content to be home, it just doesn’t get prioritized. So, it needs to be planned out.
And finally, new traditions I am trying to start need to be planned out. At least in the beginning. Creating a habit is often about creating a pattern. And plans work well for creating patterns. David and I have weekly date nights and we plan each of them out. Otherwise we’ll show up and there’s nothing to do. I want to make sure the first few are structured so that we have momentum. Then it will go where it goes.
But then there are other areas where I am trying to not worry about having a plan. For example, I try to create two art journal pages a week and a collage page once a week. I rarely ever have a plan for what I will actually create. For the daily sketches, I keep a pinterest board for inspiration but for the art journal pages and collage pages, I rarely ever have something to draw inspiration from. So I just sit at the table and start pushing paint around. I make one decision. To use a product or to pick a color. And then one more decision building on that one. And let it take me where it does. Often times, by the fourth decision or so, I have some kind of direction. And the lack of planning is not a good reason not to sit and try.
Same goes for short vacations. For us, the best ones end up being the ones with the least itinerary. We get in the car, check in, and then just relax. We walk and explore. We relax some more. We don’t stress about not following a plan, cause there is no plan. This helps us get rid of the feeling of “missing out.” Which, to me, defeats the purpose of vacation anyway.
I am learning that there’s a time to plan and a time not to plan. And I want to add some more spontaneity to my life. I want to be ok with a little of the unplanned and unexpected. I think it will make me happier and lighter.
What about you, what do you plan vs. not plan? Any advice on how to roll with the punches?
Here are the sketches from last week:
Sunday:
Monday:
Tuesday:
Wednesday:
Thursday:
Friday:
Saturday:
that’s it for this week.
Daily Sketching is a weekly project for 2012. You can see a detailed post on my steps here.
For as long as I can remember, I’ve been a worrier. I also was pessimistic. Sad. Always felt like I just didn’t belong and something terrible was just about to happen. I spent my whole life waiting for the other shoe to drop.
I still do.
If Jake pings me during the day, I instantly think “what’s wrong?” or if the phone rings, I say “everything ok?” before I even say hello. If someone at work is looking for me, I know it must be cause I did something incorrectly. I read into a received email and a lack of reply. I read into it if my manager creates a meeting for us to chat. And I read into it if he cancels a meeting.
It’s a skill I have.
This was one of the biggest reasons I didn’t want to have children. I was worried that they would see me sad/worried all the time and either they would become that way, too, or they would think it was because of them. I don’t ever want my kids to think they cause me any kind of sorrow. Ever.
So when I got pregnant with David, I put this huge sign over our bedroom door. This thing was more than seven feet long. It said “give up that there’s something wrong.” It was a phrase from a class I took a long time ago and it stuck with me over the years.
That’s what I want to be able to do with my life. Not just look for the good, but also stop worrying about the potential bad. Stop making things up. Reading into things.
When David was born, despite the rough newborn life, I remember feeling a deep sense of peace and belonging. I remember letting go of the need to look for the wrong. I remember feeling that so much was right with the world. And with all the wonderful changes we’ve had in the last few years, I’ve been feeling more and more of that sense of deep gratitude and peace. I can see all the good in my life so clearly.
But I think I’ve taken a few steps back on “giving up that there’s something wrong.”
Maybe it’s the fallout of the tough times during March or it’s just cyclical or maybe I need to just be working on this regularly. Either way, I need to make another sign. I need to remind myself that not everything points to a potential problem or mess up. I need to stop looking for the bad. I need to give it up.
Give up that there’s something wrong.
It’s the same thing I want my son to do. I notice that sometimes he looks for the bad. He notices the bad so much more than the good. When I call him, he worries something is wrong. I don’t want him to end up like me. Constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop. Feeling that it’s inevitable.
Cause you know what? It’s been almost forty years and the other shoe hasn’t dropped.
Ever.
This is not to say that it might not. This is not to say something terrible might not still happen. In fact, I am sure some bad things will indeed happen. But I look back upon the millions of times I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop. The hours of worry and stress.
What a waste.
So tonight, I will make a sign. In my bedroom, so I can see it every single night last thing before I go to sleep and first thing when I wake up.
It will say: Give up that there’s something wrong.
How about you? Will you make a sign with me too? What will your sign say?
This is a layout I made for My Mind’s Eye March newsletter. Kind of bare I know but I like it.
And the journaling says:
My dear boys, I am so excited that you are both finally n school. I love going to school and I can’t wait to share all the school days with you as you go through it too. There’s nothing as magical and learning new things and being with your peers all day long. I found it to be such a special time in my life and I am so excited for you. And I love to see your smiley faces going to school.
details:
As I mentioned, I plan to keep this project simple and fun for both of us. So, I did the same thing with the letter I as I did for letter A and all the others. I cut them all up and then, Nathaniel and I glued them down together to create this simple page:
Like each time, we talked about each of the words and then differentiated between big G and little g. Then we colored all the h’s. He wanted orange and reds this week.
Here he is gluing:
and coloring
Yey for week 9. Nathaniel is still loving this project!
Letters with Nathaniel is a weekly project for 2012. You can read more about it here.
here are some great moments from this week:
crafting at a birthday party.
sunday was kite day for our town so we went to fly kites.
daddy did some,
taught david some.
he was enjoying himself ok but not super into it.
same for the little one.
david took the goodie bags from the birthday and made a puppet.
and then his front tooth finally fell off. now he’s toothless.
cutie boy.
Nathaniel’s been training to go potty all week. it’s been full of ups and downs but he’s working hard at it, the little boy.
and his birthday came.
i wasn’t sure if he’d blow the candles.
apparently he was all prepared…
he took a big breath and did it.
and then once more.
before we knew it, they were all out.
he took a break from eating to open presents.
and i snapped a photo of daddy.
the next day, we celebrated at school, too.
he was so so happy.
just a pure ball of joy.
after the singing and cheering, he sat to eat his chocolate chip pancake.
his daddy’s mom sent some awesome puzzles so he spent all of thursday putting those together.
and david helped him, too.
i never can have too many photos of my boys.
even when they all make faces.
but especially during tickle time.
and here we go. i hope your week was wonderful, too.
Weekly Diary is a project for 2012. You can read more about it here.
Page seventeen:
Ok, I’ll admit. This page is super-weird. I don’t even know how to explain it. It uses the gelatos and a LOT of rubons. It’s meant to look like a person is opening up with their arms to the sky. The line says “Stand up and let your soul and heart be seen.”
more next week.
Journey into Collage is a project for 2012. You can read more about it here.
I’m tired and in quite a bit of pain today. I’ve had back and jaw pain for two weeks now and it seems to be regressing instead of improving, so as I sat down to think about what I want to talk about today, nothing came to me. I’ve been feeling like no one is here lately, too. I hope that’s not cause I am disappointing you. It’s been a rough spring here and while I am a little worried about the summer, I am also hoping things are improving now.
So since I didn’t have much to say, I went into my archives. I’ve been writing here since 2000. That’s a long time. I thought maybe I can dig up something pithy for you from the vault. But it turns out I am too tired even for that. As I visited the archives, however, I realized how many things happened in the last ten years of my life. Ten years ago I was:
- working on Wall Street
- living in New York City
- engaged (a month away from getting married)
- volunteering at the New York Society for the Deaf
- taking classes at NYU and the New School and learning Japanese
- accepted to Teach for America
- volunteering at Housing Works Used Book & Cafe (still love that place)
- visiting museums, the opera, and walking a lot
- reading voraciously, writing novels
And my life up until then had been quite amazing. I’d accomplished most of my life goals already. I’d moved to the United States, graduated from the college of my dreams with honors, met the man who would become my best friend and, later, my husband. moved to New York City, lived in London and Tokyo, and finally gotten my green card. I was about to leave a seven-year career on Wall Street to teach in the South Bronx. I was about to get married to my best friend. I felt like life was pretty magical.
What I didn’t know then was that there was so much more to come. So much more magic that I couldn’t even fathom it. In the last ten years, in no particular order, I:
- started and quit being a 5th grade teacher (hardest year of my life, bar none.)
- got married
- took 3-months off to travel across the country with Jake
- visited almost every National Park in the continental US.
- went to the Cayman Islands and went diving
- visited the Seychelles
- moved to San Diego and then to the Bay Area
- took some interesting but crappy jobs
- went camping for the first time
- had my first son
- and then my second son
- accepted a job at Google
- learned to take photographs, started my own photography company, took hundreds of thousands of photos
- learned to scrapbook, got into it quite a bit
- started doing art. drawing. art journaling.
- started exercising
- learned to drive (still working on the freeway)
- made friends, lost friends
- kept reading and reading and reading
- transitioned to work from home full time
- became an American citizen
- owned a first car and then a first home.
And much more. It might not seem like a lot but it is. I got married. I had kids. I moved to the West Coast. And I became a citizen. All of these changed my life in ways I couldn’t have predicted. My husband and kids have given me a deep sense of belonging. My home has given me an opportunity to finally lay down some roots. Even on my worst day, I now feel a sense of peace and belonging in ways I never could have imagined in 2002.
Had you talked to me in 2002, I would have said I’ve already accomplished all my personal goals by then. And maybe I had. I’d moved here, gotten my green card, held a steady job and found a solid partner. What I didn’t know then was that, for me, peace came from a much different source. While all of those things mattered and created the groundwork, my family is what gave me my biggest sense of purpose in my life. Not just being there for them, but also wanting to be the best version of myself around them. They are the source of my drive, joy, and peace. And I am deeply grateful for them. For Jake, without whom none of it would ever have been possible.
And I am grateful for this little slice of the web that’s been with me for the whole journey. The audience and the contents have changed a lot over those twelve years. But I love that I have bits and pieces of my life, my thoughts, my feelings preserved here. I love that I can go back to April 2001 and 2002 and see what I was writing about then. I can see all the high points and the low points and everything in between. It’s magical.
Which is why I write here so often. Even when you’re quiet. Even when I get no comments. Even when I am tired and in pain. Because it feeds my soul to see it, to read the traces of my life. Because I can’t wait to see what the next ten years will bring. And see what new hobby I will tackle next. What I will be thinking about. What joys and sorrows I will face.
And I can’t wait to capture it all here.
Here are some more pages I did:
The full text reads: Don’t let anyone put limits on your life or box you in.
And here’s the next page:
The full text reads: do not hesitate to take a risk; it is how we learn.
Well here we go. More coming next week.
I am creating multiple art journaling pages a week for now. You can read more about this project here. This set uses the Fabriano Roma papers.
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projects for twenty twenty-five
projects for twenty twenty-four
projects for twenty twenty-three
projects for twenty twenty-two
projects for twenty twenty-one
projects for twenty nineteen
projects for twenty eighteen
projects from twenty seventeen
monthly projects from previous years
some of my previous projects
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