karenika

Journey into Collage – Week 18

Page eighteen:

I used leftovers from a large colorful sheet I’d used for many art journal projects. I just liked the way it looked oddly shaped. IT says “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” which is an Eleanor Roosevelt quote, I think. It also says “do not EVER consent.” I painted the page yellow afterwards. I like how bright it is.

more next week.

Journey into Collage is a project for 2012. You can read more about it here.

Not Working Ahead

Back in December, one of the goals I set for myself was this:

Slow down and be aware: I tend to be an over-achiever which is great but because I am so task-oriented and accomplishment-focused, I often rush through things. I am focused on the end and I don’t enjoy the journey. I don’t slow down. I don’t take my time, explore, learn, grow as much as I could. So my plan this year is to slow down considerably. Take my time drawing. Take my time reading and thinking. If some things don’t get done, that’s ok. I think that much more growth happens when we slow down and approach things mindfully. Since my word for this year is savor, this is something I plan to pay extra-attention to. One change I made from last year was to aim to reduce some of my daily tasks. My goal is to do 4 sketches a week and 4 art journal pages a week instead of doing 7 of each. This way I get a few days off and if I want to I can complete a sketch over two days.

We’re now into the fifth month of the year and I don’t know if I’ve done this. There are definitely moments when I have. And, other times, I’ve rushed through the art just to “get done.” However, there’s a part of this that I’ve been working hard on: not working ahead.

I have a tendency to work ahead. This way on any particular week, I don’t have any tight deadlines. So if my layouts are due in a month, I will do them right now and be done. I used to do that for the blog, too. Create a bunch of art journal pages so I have a bunch of posts lined up. But one of my goals this year was to do this less.

I feel like consistency helps me with my creativity. When I work ahead and pile a bunch of art/layouts, I then take a long break. During this time I don’t feel like doing art. I don’t scrap. I have no ideas. I get rusty. I get lazy. I’ve learned, over time, that what inspires me most is doing. When I am creating regularly, ideas come to me. I feel more inspired. I feel more driven to create.

And when I take a long break, I get lazy.

This year, I’ve been trying to scale down the art but also keep it more regular. I actually do two art journal pages a week. If I am super-inspired I might do one more but it’s rare. I do one collage a week and then the savor project and the daily sketching. It would be nice to add one layout a week, too because my inspiration on creating layouts has waned a lot (especially since I do the Savor Project). I try not to overdo it. (At least for me.) I don’t sit and create ten pages in one sitting. If I’ve filled my goal for that week, I stop.

I save some for next week.

I take small breaks instead of feverishly working ahead and then burning out. If this means some weeks I have no art to post, I prefer that to taking a long break. This also keeps me more in the present, I think. I was ahead on Art Journal pages and Collage pages from early on in the year so I have a little breathing room on those if I have a dry week. Savor is always running one week behind, so that gives me time to catch up, too. But, honestly, I just try not to stress about it. I feel like the discipline and presence makes it work better for me.

This way, I have some art to do each night of the week. I try to collage on mondays, art journal on tuesdays, do my savor prep on wednesdays, do another art journal page on thursdays, and then finish my savor project on friday. the weekend is my backup for whatever’s not finished. And maybe I can scrap a layout each weekend, too. I don’t schedule these thoughts posts either. I want to make them about “now.” About how I am feeling in the present. It’s all part of being more aware. Being more here.

This does not come naturally to me. My instinct is to work ahead, get done, have it off my list. But I am learning that there’s something to be said for slowing down and creating something every single day.

So here’s to not working ahead. Here’s to being present. Here’s to controlling instinct and tying to be more aware.

So far, so good.

But, always a work-in-progress, of course.

Art Journaling – Arches Printmaking Set 1

I started using Arches Printmaking paper this week.

Here are some more pages I did:

The full text reads: No one gets to tell you who you are or who you can be. You decide. Only you.

And here’s the next page:

The full text reads: you can fly anytime, your wings are already there.

Well here we go. More coming next week.

I am creating multiple art journaling pages a week for now. You can read more about this project here. This set uses the Fabriano Roma papers.

Year-Long Classes – Month Three

Since I spent the night watching Glee with Jake and it’s almost 9pm here, I figured I might as well catch up on posting about the yearlong classes. So here is March.

I am taking two year-long classes at Big Picture Classes this year. I am pretty sure you must have heard of both. Even though these are not amazing, I still thought it would be fun to post my progress each month. If for no other reason than to record things.

Here are my OLW pages for March:

my one-thing was two things. one was to go out to breakfast 3 times and the other was to drive on the free way 3 times in March. And despite the difficult months, I accomplished both:

here it is open:

And then here’s the Move More, Eat Well page for March. Looks like I didn’t photograph it in my album but I do have the page:

And here we go. That’s where we are now. I will post a April update soon.

A Book a Week – Breakfast with Buddha

I read Breakfast with Buddha in two days. It was for a new book club and I had just a few days to finish it.

It’s an easy read and didn’t take me long to get through it. I hadn’t read anything by the author before so I had no idea what to expect. To be honest, I didn’t even know if it was fiction or nonfiction while I was reading it (it’s fiction) but I did enjoy it.

I wouldn’t say it’s one of the best books I’ve read or that it was amazing but it certainly was thought-provoking at parts and made for a fun book club discussion.

The Savor Project – Week 16

And here’s the spread for week sixteen (i have come to believe i will never take good photos of these :)):

here’s a closer up of the left side:

Sorry for the blurring of the art. This week’s art was for an upcoming blog hop so I am keeping it safe till then. The stories here are: david and nathaniel’s love, david losing his tooth, david’s stickers on his sketchbook, the boys hanging out in the yard.

And here’s the right side:

The first one here is a new tradition we started with David where we both individually spend a little extra time with David on a date so he can get some alone time with both of us. The next one is Nathaniel’s sharing at school and then our playground fun.

My art and our family photo along the bottom as usual.

So there we go. So far, so good. Still enjoying this project a lot.

Happy Savoring.

The Savor Project was supposed to be a weekly project for 2012. You can read about my setup here.

Planning vs. Not Planning

I’ve been thinking about planning vs not planning. And while I’m generally a huge fan of planning (as I am sure you know if you read here at all) I’ve also become a big believer in nonplanning at times, too.

So for things that are hard and require motivation, you want to plan. For example, things like exercise. At least for me. I’ve noticed in the last month that if I don’t have a plan (however small) for what I will eat during the day, I either eat garbage all day long or I eat nothing and then find myself completely famished at the end of the day. Neither of which is healthy or sustainable. I need to plan the food better.

Same goes for things that you know you love to do but don’t tend to prioritize. For example, I need to plan going out with friends. I always seem to enjoy myself when I have a nice chat with a good friend. Or even with a new friend. I feel energized (and, yes, a bit spent, too) the rest of the day. My head is filled with ideas. My spirit is renewed. And I got to go out and have some sunshine. All of which is good for me. But I rarely make time for this. It seems like too much work. And since I am almost always perfectly content to be home, it just doesn’t get prioritized. So, it needs to be planned out.

And finally, new traditions I am trying to start need to be planned out. At least in the beginning. Creating a habit is often about creating a pattern. And plans work well for creating patterns. David and I have weekly date nights and we plan each of them out. Otherwise we’ll show up and there’s nothing to do. I want to make sure the first few are structured so that we have momentum. Then it will go where it goes.

But then there are other areas where I am trying to not worry about having a plan. For example, I try to create two art journal pages a week and a collage page once a week. I rarely ever have a plan for what I will actually create. For the daily sketches, I keep a pinterest board for inspiration but for the art journal pages and collage pages, I rarely ever have something to draw inspiration from. So I just sit at the table and start pushing paint around. I make one decision. To use a product or to pick a color. And then one more decision building on that one. And let it take me where it does. Often times, by the fourth decision or so, I have some kind of direction. And the lack of planning is not a good reason not to sit and try.

Same goes for short vacations. For us, the best ones end up being the ones with the least itinerary. We get in the car, check in, and then just relax. We walk and explore. We relax some more. We don’t stress about not following a plan, cause there is no plan. This helps us get rid of the feeling of “missing out.” Which, to me, defeats the purpose of vacation anyway.

I am learning that there’s a time to plan and a time not to plan. And I want to add some more spontaneity to my life. I want to be ok with a little of the unplanned and unexpected. I think it will make me happier and lighter.

What about you, what do you plan vs. not plan? Any advice on how to roll with the punches?

Daily Sketching – Week 56

Here are the sketches from last week:

Sunday:

Monday:

Tuesday:

Wednesday:

Thursday:

Friday:

Saturday:

that’s it for this week.

Daily Sketching is a weekly project for 2012. You can see a detailed post on my steps here.

Give Up that there’s Something Wrong

For as long as I can remember, I’ve been a worrier. I also was pessimistic. Sad. Always felt like I just didn’t belong and something terrible was just about to happen. I spent my whole life waiting for the other shoe to drop.

I still do.

If Jake pings me during the day, I instantly think “what’s wrong?” or if the phone rings, I say “everything ok?” before I even say hello. If someone at work is looking for me, I know it must be cause I did something incorrectly. I read into a received email and a lack of reply. I read into it if my manager creates a meeting for us to chat. And I read into it if he cancels a meeting.

It’s a skill I have.

This was one of the biggest reasons I didn’t want to have children. I was worried that they would see me sad/worried all the time and either they would become that way, too, or they would think it was because of them. I don’t ever want my kids to think they cause me any kind of sorrow. Ever.

So when I got pregnant with David, I put this huge sign over our bedroom door. This thing was more than seven feet long. It said “give up that there’s something wrong.” It was a phrase from a class I took a long time ago and it stuck with me over the years.

That’s what I want to be able to do with my life. Not just look for the good, but also stop worrying about the potential bad. Stop making things up. Reading into things.

When David was born, despite the rough newborn life, I remember feeling a deep sense of peace and belonging. I remember letting go of the need to look for the wrong. I remember feeling that so much was right with the world. And with all the wonderful changes we’ve had in the last few years, I’ve been feeling more and more of that sense of deep gratitude and peace. I can see all the good in my life so clearly.

But I think I’ve taken a few steps back on “giving up that there’s something wrong.”

Maybe it’s the fallout of the tough times during March or it’s just cyclical or maybe I need to just be working on this regularly. Either way, I need to make another sign. I need to remind myself that not everything points to a potential problem or mess up. I need to stop looking for the bad. I need to give it up.

Give up that there’s something wrong.

It’s the same thing I want my son to do. I notice that sometimes he looks for the bad. He notices the bad so much more than the good. When I call him, he worries something is wrong. I don’t want him to end up like me. Constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop. Feeling that it’s inevitable.

Cause you know what? It’s been almost forty years and the other shoe hasn’t dropped.

Ever.

This is not to say that it might not. This is not to say something terrible might not still happen. In fact, I am sure some bad things will indeed happen. But I look back upon the millions of times I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop. The hours of worry and stress.

What a waste.

So tonight, I will make a sign. In my bedroom, so I can see it every single night last thing before I go to sleep and first thing when I wake up.

It will say: Give up that there’s something wrong.

How about you? Will you make a sign with me too? What will your sign say?

I cannot wait to share my love of school with you

This is a layout I made for My Mind’s Eye March newsletter. Kind of bare I know but I like it.

And the journaling says:
My dear boys, I am so excited that you are both finally n school. I love going to school and I can’t wait to share all the school days with you as you go through it too. There’s nothing as magical and learning new things and being with your peers all day long. I found it to be such a special time in my life and I am so excited for you. And I love to see your smiley faces going to school.

details:

Letters with Nathaniel – I

As I mentioned, I plan to keep this project simple and fun for both of us. So, I did the same thing with the letter I as I did for letter A and all the others. I cut them all up and then, Nathaniel and I glued them down together to create this simple page:

Like each time, we talked about each of the words and then differentiated between big G and little g. Then we colored all the h’s. He wanted orange and reds this week.

Here he is gluing: