Last night, I went to the movies with a friend and when I came home I found two pages of notes on my bed:

says “I love you very much. turn page over.”

the back says: “I really missed you and I had a bad night.”

second page says “And I peed like you told me to. Turn page over.” He’s supposed to make sure to pee before he goes to sleep since he’s not wearing overnight diapers.

there you go. My super super sweet son. How can I not love him to bits?

Today was a quiet day. The kids played.

and I decided to take some shots of David.

he’s so beautiful.

and sweet and kind.

the little one was less accommodating but that’s ok. It ebbs and flows and that’s life.

Uneventful day. Work, meeting, walk, sketch, exercise, play. Same wonderful life as always. Just basking in gratitude.

Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. I am grateful that I am letting myself be lazy. I know I need to rest so I am resting. Reading. Not judging. Just being.
2. I am grateful for a sweet box containing some new product and some of my CHA layouts back. love seeing them again.
3. I am grateful for a clean house and a quieter rest of the week.

Three Things David’s Grateful For:
1. I am grateful I had ice cream for breakfast. * {his pick for the journal}
2. I am grateful that I finished the Pokemon movies.
3. I am grateful that I watched a few lego movies.

As annoying as it was, today was a useful day. We woke up early and I exercised so that we could get out the door cause both kids had dentist’s appointments. It all went well, thankfully. Our dentist lets the kids take a little toy home so David came home with a tiny water gun (and Nathaniel picked a car.) He wanted to play with it immediately so went in the backyard to play. Nathaniel watched, of course.

Here he is filling the watergun.

I love watching him watch David. I love his focus and concentration.

And I love watching David play and be so happily involved in his own projects.

Then it was nap time. While Nathaniel napped, the repairman came and fixed our dishwasher (yey!!) and then Nathaniel woke up and we took a super-quick trip to buy me a pair of pants (I literally had none that fit.) And when we came home, my new fitbit was waiting in the mailbox. So all was ok again. I caught up on my work while the little ones played some more.

And I quickly just snapped two more photos. One of him.

and one of him.

Then I had meetings, Jake came home, fed the kids and now they are doing their nightly activities. I get to go to the movies tonight with a friend and I am really looking forward to it.

Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. I am grateful that I get to go to the movies tonight.
2. I am grateful for an amazing gift I got in the mail today, more on this very soon.
3. I am grateful for a new pair of pants. Nice to finally have a pair that fits.
4. I am grateful my machine is working and I got a new fitbit. Life is going back to normal.

Three Things David’s Grateful For:
1. I am grateful I watched some pokemon lessons. * {his pick for the journal}
2. I am grateful that I got a watergun from the dentist.
3. I am grateful that I played with my lego men.

This morning, David decided he didn’t have enough Lego-men so I recommended we go through all of his bins and see how many he had. So the boys got to work.

Here’s Nathaniel smiling at me cause he knows I have the camera out.

A short moment for a nice hug. Love these.

Working hard, playing hard.

Nathaniel was excited to find so many toys for himself.

After naps, Nathaniel was in a super-good mood. Laughed and laughed.

and laughed.

here’s a typical shot of David lately. Smiles but will not look at the camera. Doesn’t even know he’s not looking at the lens. I have to ask him 3-4 times to get it right.

A pretty quiet day here. Working, playing, resting. I found out this morning that one of the Chrome team members in Seattle passed away in a car crash. One he had nothing to do with, just happened to be unlucky enough to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. He had two kids; 5 and 7 and now he’s gone. I didn’t know him but all the people who worked with him say that he was amazingly kind, generous, bright and a true joy to work with. The world is a bit dimmer without him in it.

Which of course made me smack myself for worrying about the stupid dishwasher or fitbit. Worrying and pouting and being a total spoiled brat about stupid things when the whole world can end in a moment. Who cares about the stupid machine. Who cares about most anything I spend most of my time worrying about?

I was also reading this list I saw on Pinterest and I noticed that the very first thing that jumped out at me was “Become the most positive and enthusiastic person you know.” This is what I want for myself. This is what I love most about Jake. He is that person for me. He’s my light and joy. And I want to be that, too. I want to be positive, enthusiastic, exuding joy.

Not the whiny PITA I’ve been lately. I believe it’s crucial that I focus on this with all my might.

If I owe you an email or comment response, I apologize, I’m going to catch up super-soon, I promise.

Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. I am grateful for two beautiful dresses that came in the mail. Dresses I ordered online without trying and from a store I’d never purchased from before. They fit like a glove and looked super nice. Color me happy.
2. I am grateful for my kids and all the time I get to spend with them. I’m the luckiest person in the world for getting so much time with them.
3. I am grateful for a new set of three books I’ve been reading. I normally don’t read series in a row but I haven’t wanted to put this book down for a minute since I picked the first one up.

Three Things David’s Grateful For:
1. I am grateful that we sorted my legos and got lego men. * {his pick for the journal}
2. I am grateful that we’re reading Mrs. Piggle Wiggle books.
3. I am grateful that I played with Nathaniel.

When I woke up this morning, the kids were playing together.

They’d lined up all the cars and made tracks.

Nathaniel was so excited to see David play with him.

he kept watching his big brother.

And David concentrated a lot.

Nathaniel copied him.

and watched him make corrections.

he then got up to get more parts.

then I went to exercise and shower after which it was picture time. I snapped one of my boys as I set up.

We got a bunch of sweet photos.

and a lot of tickle-time ones.

I love all the different kinds of laughter we get during tickle time.

as we were done, I snapped a few more. One of the love of my life.

And one of my big boy kissing and hugging his Daddy.

The rest of the day went downhill from there. The fitbit broke and then the washing machine broke. I’ve learned over time that I do not handle these things well at all. Small things go wrong and I fall apart. I feel overwhelmingly annoyed and tired and frustrated at relatively small hiccups and ones that can and will be fixed. Which is super frustrating and even though I know it, I cannot seem to help myself. So the rest of the day was spent pouting, grouchy, and trying to just make it through. What a waste.

Now the kids are down and I will sit with Jake and watch a movie because I need to step off this stupid mood. This week will pass, I will get a new fitbit, the dentist and other appointments will come and go, the dishwasher will be fixed somehow, and life will resume to normal and I will be happy. So I might as well try to embrace it all now. It’s all a part of life and ruining my days and precious moments is a stupid choice to make.

Three Things I’m Grateful For:
1. I am grateful for some sketch time today. Despite the grouchiness, I did sketch and exercise.
2. I am grateful that Jake washed the full load of dishes by hand. He’s always too kind to me.
3. I am grateful that a new fitbit is soon to be on its way to me. So, so grateful.

Three Things David’s Grateful For:
1. I am grateful that mommy downloaded my pictures * {his pick for the journal}
2. I am grateful that I played cars with Nathaniel.
3. I am grateful that I got to play on the computer today even though I was not supposed to.