I want to start by saying that this is going to be a long post. These reflective posts are how I make sure to live my life intentionally. They matter to me and I love being able to look back on them in future years. I know that this might not be interesting to many (if not any) of you, so please feel free to skip it. If some of you find it interesting, all the better.
This particular exercise is following Susannah Conway’s Unraveling 2020 sheet. You can download it right here. I split the reflective questions looking back on 2018 in and the questions to help clarify goals/dreams for 2019 into two posts. This is part I, the 2020 post will show up later this week. All questions are Susannah’s and are copyrighted to her.
Before we start unravelling 2020, let’s take a moment to look back over the last twelve months. Maybe there were lots of changes for you in 2020. Maybe it’s been a year of growing or nesting or exploring or letting go. Whatever’s happened this year it’s got you to this point, right now. Exactly where you’re meant to be. Pick up your pen and let’s do some digging.
First of all, did you have a word for 2019? Yes, my word was magic.
If you did, how did your word help to guide you through the last 12 months? Can you think of any specific examples? I have made sure to add more magic into my life in ways big and small. Our trip to the Galapagos was magical and once in a lifetime for me. Even more significantly, the moments we spent hiking and the culminating waterfall and swimming was likely one of the highlights of my life. I showed up and said yes to hiking Mt. Dana, to going to rock climb each week. I spent time shepherding David to high school and Nathaniel to middle school. I took over new teams at work and went from being an individual contributor to being a manager of managers with a team that’s globally spread out. I walked into 2019 still in the middle of a depression and was finally able to emerge out of it in June. I spent time each week noticing and documenting the magic in my daily life. Magic has been a fantastic word for me. It’s helped me remember to create and notice the magic of my life in all the ways big and small.
What did you embrace in 2019? I embraced my life. I created experiences I wanted to have. I showed up for people at work, I showed up for my family, and I showed up for myself. And then sometimes I didn’t. And I embraced that, too.
What did you let go of in 2019? I let go of my depression. I still have moments of sadness and moments that I spiral down but the deep, scary feeling of apathy, sadness, and all the pressure I was feeling seems to have lifted for now. It is singlehandedly the best thing I could have let go of.
What changed for you in 2019? Hmm.. both my kids started new phases in their educational lives with middle and high school. My work changed again and then again. I became a manager. I started rock climbing regularly. I took chances. I got really good at both making and seeing the magic.
What did you discover about yourself in 2019? I discovered that the depression wasn’t here to be permanent and that it could in fact disappear in one day. I discovered that even in the toughest week, I can see/find some magic. I discovered that if I want magic in my life, I can make it so. I discovered that I am always more excited about making life than I am about making work. I discovered that I can start new ideas any day of the week. I also discovered that I really love reading and just don’t want to let it go. I discovered that it’s important to take chances and to say yes.
What were you most grateful for in 2019? At the top of the list is the fact that I am feeling better. I am incredibly grateful for it. Right below that is my husband again, always. For always being there for me, with me. For getting me excited about rock climbing. For his happiness being so contagious. For always being my sunshine. Grateful for my kids, for being so kind and generous and loving. I am incredibly lucky. I am grateful to my parents, to my sister, to my nephews for always reminding me that I am not alone, that they have my back and that I am so loved. Grateful for my friend Kelly who exchanged weekly emails with me about the magic we saw each week this year. It played a huge part in helping me keep my word front and center. Grateful for the people who reached out to me, who have created space for me, encouraged me and believed in me, even when (especially when) I couldn’t.
When did fear hold you back in 2019? I still opted out of social interactions more often than not. Also didn’t step up in some work cases. I didn’t learn how to ride a bike or drive to the city. Most importantly, I didn’t work out as aggressively as I wished I could have.
Where did you practice bravery in 2019? Stepping into my new roles have required bravery. Our trips, while fun, required bravery. The hiking, especially Dana was huge bravery. The rock climbing continues to be so. Many days just showing up to life is bravery for me.
What surprised you in 2019? How the sadness went away almost overnight. The hike in Hawaii and how deeply it made me happy. How much I’ve enjoyed the things I thought I would like to have at work but didn’t until this year.
What made you smile in 2019? My husband.My kids. My friends. Twinkle lights. That moment under the waterfall.
What conclusions did you reach in 2019? That I want to design my own life. I want to choose my life and fit work into it and that I can do whatever I want. I just have to really decide and not feel obligated but feel committed and inspired. Also that my life is full of magic. So, so much magic.
Let’s think about your ACCOMPLISHMENTS in 2019. List three things that went really well this year — personally or professionally, what are you most proud of? For each accomplishment, consider the following: What skills helped you make it happen? How has your life changed? What have you learned about yourself? How did you celebrate or acknowledge your accomplishment? (If you didn’t, how could you next time?)
I stepped into being a manager of two different teams, and learning a lot of new areas.
I took some incredible vacations with my family and traveled to places I’ve wanted to see for many years.
I committed to being more active with my husband, took hikes together, went rock climbing weekly, really tried to show up.
Now let’s look at your CHALLENGES. List three situations that have tested your limits and patience this year. The big or the small — whatever challenged you the most in 2019 (there may be more than three so go with whatever comes to mind first) For each challenge, consider the following: How did you deal with the challenge? Did you discover any new tools or allies that could help you again in the future? How has your life changed? What have you learned about yourself? (If you’re still working through a particular challenge, what outcome would feel good to you?)
I really struggled with food still. I have been having a really hard time trying to move to a more healthy mindset and habit around nutrition.
I wanted to work on figuring out the magic of me and I haven’t spent enough time on that. Very little, in fact.
Last year I wrote: I think my biggest challenge is still being kind to myself. Every other challenge I have stems from that. And I don’t think much of that has changed. My inner voice, the noise in my head is not productive or positive. It continues to be my biggest challenge.
Describe your favourite day, moment or occasion of 2019 in words and pictures. What did it taste like? Smell like? Sound like? Who was (or wasn’t) there? Where were you? What were you doing? What was awesome about it? And most importantly, how did you feel? It was definitely the day we went hiking in Hawaii. The location was obfuscated and not sure what we were getting into. The bamboo trees at the beginning, the muddy trail we got lost several times, the uphill hike that wasn’t clear if it would ever end, the tropical location, and most importantly the culminating water and getting to stand under that amazing waterfall. It was one of the best moments of my life.
Gentleness alert! Did anything happen in 2019 that needs to be forgiven? Maybe it was something someone did or said to you. Maybe it was something you did or said to someone else — or to yourself? Maybe you feel you let yourself down in some way. Here’s the thing — we are all beautifully fallible human beings doing the best that we can with the tools that we have, so where can you give the gift of forgiveness to yourself or to another? All the times I didn’t show up as my best self. All the times I yelled at my kids or let my husband down or all the months I wasted continuing to be sad and anxious and worried over things that were small. All the times I didn’t achieve my own goals. I let it all go. I forgive myself for being human in my own way.
So we’ve dug into our accomplishments and challenges, remembered our favourite moments and considered who we need to forgive. Now I invite you to close your eyes for a moment and think about 2019 as a whole. As you cast your mind back over the last 365 days, consider the gifts that 2019 offered you on your life’s journey…What stands out the most? What really mattered? What stands out the most is overwhelming gratitude. What mattered most are the days with the people I love. The moments of joy, gratitude and contentment. Simple pleasures. New experiences. Here’s some of what happened in 2019:
I helped David with his multiple science fairs and all the journeys he took along the way.
I helped Nathaniel get better at writing. I tucked him in every night I was home.
I traveled to Zurich and London and Los Angeles (and maybe Boulder?) for work.
I interim-managed a large, global team to help out a colleague, I leaned in hard and tried to really help the team.
I took over management of another team and a new area for my business unit.
As a family: we went to Los Angeles, San Diego, Pacific Grove, Carmel-by-the-Sea, Monterey, the Galapagos, Waikiki, Hawaii, Yosemite, Tahoe,
I got to welcome the new year with my whole family for the first time since 1992. All of us together in the Bay Area.
We did over 20 weekly celebrations as a family.
We took weekly family photos for 45+ weeks.
I drew 250+ drawings this year.
I read 360+ books. More than 100 from netgalley, on ebook.
I told 30+ stories from our lives.
I used both the weekly journal and the OLW journal to document our lives.
I worked out at work and rock climbed weekly for 6+ months. I moved from 5.5 to 5.9 and a handful of 5.10as and even one 5.10b
I got my belay card
I wrote 52 emails to Kelly about the magic of my week.
I took 10+ hikes with Jake.
I hiked Mt. Dana (13,500 ft.) with my family.
I organized multiple 100+ people summits at work. And I co-led an arm of the diversity council.
I supported both my kids through their Tech Challenge experience.
I did over 100 yoga sessions.
My kids attended their first seder.
I took Nathaniel to Orlando, Floria to Harry Potter World for his 10th birthday. Just thw two of us.
I wrote 20 letters to my kids for each of the nights they were gone away on a school trip.
I survived David’s trip to Spain (for two weeks!)
I attended Google I/O.
David graduated from middle school. Nathaniel finished elementary school.
I went totally blonde.
Jake and I went on several date nights.
I supported Jake in several of his personal dreams around climbing.
I got a concussion.
I make hundreds of healthy lunches for Nathaniel.
I mentored several women in my organization.
I still don’t drink coffee with caffeine. (but sadly i drink soda now, i will quit again!)
I still pretty much go to bed 10pm and wake up 6am every week day.
I took several online classes but only really stuck with OLW.
I supported my friends and a few others who were going through a tough time this year.
I supported several Life Coaching clients this year. Though I’ve wound most of those down.
Describe 2019 in 3 words: magical, shift, brave
If the events of 2019 were made into a film or a book, what would it be called? Glimmers of Light.
Before we finish with 2019, take a few minutes to write out anything else you need to say to the old year in the box below. You might like to say some goodbyes and thank yous…Thank you
Thank you 2019. You’ve reminded me that I can make my own magic. Shown me that things are not permanent. Reminded me that I hold the reigns of my life. Showed me how much magic the world has to offer. Reminded me what matters most in my life. And reminded me to stay in the growth mindset. I am very proud of myself and grateful for all the magic of 2019. I am excited to jump into 2020 as a more committed version of myself.
My favorite read of the year was: A Woman is no Man
My favorite YA read of the year was: The Poet X
My favorite graphic novel read of the year was: Good Talk
My favorite non-fiction read of the year was: Invisible Women
My favorite SciFi read of the year was: This Is How You Lose the Time War
My favorite Fantasy read of the year was: Beasts of Extraordinary Circumstance
Here are all my five star rated books from this year:
Noble Heart: A Self-Guided Retreat on Befriending Your Obstacles
Everything My Mother Taught Me
Inward
Normal People
Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: A Therapist, Her Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed
In an Absent Dream (Wayward Children, #4)
Living Beautifully: An Inspirational Journal
Becoming
The Bride Test (The Kiss Quotient, #2)
Where To Begin: A Small Book About Your Power to Create Big Change in Our Crazy World
Good Talk: A Memoir in Conversations
Plainsong (Plainsong, #1)
A Woman Is No Man
An Uncommon Atlas
The Art of Visual Notetaking
The Poet X
The Wisdom of Anxiety
Beasts of Extraordinary Circumstance
Invisible Women: Data Bias in a World Designed for Men
Apeirogon: A Novel
It’s a Numberful World: How Math Is Hiding Everywhere
Painting Masterclass
Olive, Again
Limitless Mind
The Boy, The Mole, The Fox and The Horse
Welcoming the Unwelcome
Things My Son Needs to Know About the World
This Song Will Save Your Life
There You Are
This Is How You Lose the Time War
And here are all my reads from 2019 in order. You can find all the reviews here and my drawings with reviews on instagram here.
Ikigai: The Japanese Secret to a Long and Happy Life
The Extraordinary Life of Sam Hell
Born a Crime: Stories From a South African Childhood
The Library Book
The Art of the Good Life
Uprooted
Plainsong
A Key to Treehouse Living
Talking Across the Divide
Bad Blood
Some Assembly Required
The Happiness Project
Chief Joy Officer
Can You Ever Forgive Me
Juliet the Maniac
Keep Going
Every Heart a Doorway
The Au Pair
The Water Cure
The Widows
Brave, not Perfect
Normal People
The Dreamers
O’s Little Guide to Finding Your True Purpose
Down Among the Sticks and Bones
If, Then
Talk To Me
A Dangle a Day
Professor Chandra Follows His Bliss
white fragility
Have You Seen Luis Velez?
Inheritence
The 4 habits of Joy-filled marriages
The Editor
Journey into yourself
Beneath the Sugar Sky
So Lucky
Our Life in a Day
In an Absent Dream
I Owe you One
recursion
elsey come home
the body is not an apology
the shape of a life
DIY Watercolor Flowers
golden child
lie with me
here and now and then
the lost man
the silent patient
more than words
the fifteen wonders of daniel green
The Plotters
Freefall
The Test
Becoming
The Two Hearts of Eliza Bloom
After
99 percent mine
Digital Minimalism
When You Read This
Liquid Rules
Happy Money
The Organic Painter
Look Closer, Draw Better
Things my son needs to know about the world
On the Come up
The Study of Animal Languages
The Valedictorian of Being Dead
The unwinding of the miracle
The Last Romantics
Early Riser
The Island of Sea Women
An Anonymous Girl
I Think You’re Wrong but I am Listening
Visual Notetaking
The Happiness Diary
Where Reasons End
The Care and Feeding of Ravenously Hungry Girls
Territory of Light
Unhoneymooners
wingspan
The curious charms of arthur pepper
Brave Love
Girl, Stop Apologizing
Daisy Jones and the Six
Factfulness
The Cassandra
The River
Tangle’s Game
The Secret of Clouds
Be Angry
Shout
Being Creative: Be inspired. Unlock your originality
A Woman is No Man
Riots I have Known
The Perfect Liar
By Invitation Only
The Self-Love Experiment
Creative Selection
American Kingpin
The Urban Sketching Handbook: Working with Color
The Penguin Lessons
Before She Knew Him
You Do you
Dare to Disappoint: Growing Up in Turkey
When All Is Said
Opposite of Always
The Wildlands
On Being Human
Golden State
If Cats Disappeared from the World
The Night Tiger
Rumi: Unseen Poems
Brand Identity Essentials, Revised and Expanded
Creative Lettering and Beyond: Timeless Calligraphy
Realistic Portraits in Colored Pencil
Hughie Mittman’s Fear of Lawnmowers
Stretched Too Thin
Outer Order, Inner Calm
The Parade
Lot
One True Loves
The Salt Path
The Path Made Clear
Queenie
The Porpoise
Understanding Numbers
An Uncommon Atlas
The Silver Ladies of Penny Lane
Grace After Henry
The Ditch
How to Raise Successful People
The Places That Scare You
My Lovely Wife
Lights All Night Long
The Man in the next Bed
The Other Americans
Juliet’s School of Possibilities
The Billion Dollar Whale
The White Book
Draw Like an Artist
Senlin Ascends
Wolfpack
I Miss you When I Blink
The Poet X
The Dream Peddler
Era of Ignition
Any Ordinary Day
Life is Short Don’t Wait to Dance
Mostly Sunny
Skin
The Memory of Light
Inspection
Only Ever Her
Utopia for Realists
After I Do
There’s a Word for That
Feast Your Eyes
The Weight of a Piano
Maybe Someday
Reasons the Stay Alive
Have More Fun
The Girl He Used to Know
Fifty Things that aren’t my Fault
The Honey Bus
Ask Again, Yes
Miracle Creek
How to Be Yourself
Fumbled
The Mother-in-Law
Walking on the Ceiling
Good Talk
Meet Cute
The F*ck It Diet
The Secret Life
The Bride Test
How to draw and Write with a Fountain Pen
The Algebra of Happiness
The Printed Letter Bookshop
Anywhere, Anytime Art: Illustration
It’s a Numberful World
The Book Woman of Troublesome Creek
When We Left Cuba
Inward
All that you Leave Behind
This Song will Save your Life
A Boy and His Dog at the End of the World
Exhalation: Stories
The Unpassing
Rules for visiting
Everything is F*cked
Noble Heart
Marriage-ology
The Better Sister
The Invited
With the Fire on High
The Farm
Middlegame
The Wisdom of Anxiety
The Sentence is Death
The seven or Eight deaths of Stella Fortuna
The Flatshare
Stop Doing that SH*t
The Scent Keeper
City of Girls
When We Found Home
The Perfect Date
Boy Meets Depression
Magic for Liars
Fix Her Up
One Strategy
This is Home
The Ruin
Celestial Watercolor
How Not to Die Alone
Own Your Everyday
The Friend Zone
For the Love of Books
The Untethered Soul at Work
The Body in Question
Dawn
Disappearing Earth
Painting Masterclass
Ever After
This is How You Lose the Time War
Red, White, and Royal Blue
A Nearly Normal Family
Tea and Cake with Demons
Drawing Home
Biased
Olive, Again
Evvie Drake Starts Over
Apollo Leadership Lessons
The Islanders
Heads of the Colored People
The Last Book Party
The Huntress
The Bookish Life of Nina Hill
The Expectations
What I Wish I knew When I was 20
Player’s Ball
I am her Tribe
The Nickel Boys
State of the Union
Callings
The Wedding Party
The Confession Club
The more or less Definitive Guide to Self Care
The Gifted School
The Lager Queen of Minnesota
The Most Fun We Ever Had
The Dutch House
Notes to Self
Has Anyone Seen the President?
On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous
Searching for Sylvie Lee
Gravity Is the Thing
Limitless Mind: Learn, Lead, and Live Without Barriers
Unfu*k Yourself Workbook
Chances Are…
That’s What Frenemies Are For
The Book Charmer
On the Corner of Love and Hate(Hopeless Romantics, #1)
Never Have I Ever
Pretty Guilty Women
The Great Unexpected
Lanny
The Right Swipe(Modern Love, #1)
If You Want to Make God Laugh
The Ten Thousand Doors of January
The Floating Feldmans
Things You Save in a Fire
Turbulence
You’ve Been Volunteered: A Class Mom Novel
We Are All Good People Here
Say Say Say
Because You’re Mine
No Happy Endings
All the Water in the World
The Practicing Mind: Bringing Discipline and Focus into Your Life
The Turn of the Key
A Bend in the Stars
The Testaments
The End of Loneliness
Talking to Strangers: What We Should Know about the People We Don’t Know
The Miracles of the Namiya General Store
Dominicana
The Dearly Beloved
Family of Origin
Read This if You Want to be Great at Drawing People
10 Minutes 38 Seconds in this Strange World
Inspired Artist: Draw Every Little Thing: Learn to draw more than 100 everyday items, from food to fashion
The Grace Year
How To: Absurd Scientific Advice for Common Real-World Problems
Nature Tonic: A Year in My Mindful Life
A Mindful Year: 365 Ways to Find Connection and the Sacred in Everyday Life
The Boy, The Mole, The Fox and The Horse
A Pure Heart
Twice in a Blue Moon
The Whisper Man
Summer Frost
Emergency Skin
Fleishman Is in Trouble
There You Are
Winners Take All: The Elite Charade of Changing the World
Nothing to See Here
The Memory Police
Well Met
Red at the Bone
Little Faith
Broken Man on a Halifax Pier
The Water Dancer
Little Weirds
The Library of Lost and Found
Living Beautifully: An Inspirational Journal
Royal Holiday(The Wedding Date, #4)
The Art of Watercolor Lettering: A Beginner’s Step-by-Step Guide to Painting Modern Calligraphy and Lettered Art
The Chain
Rewilding: Meditations, Practices, and Skills for Awakening in Nature
The Future of Another Timeline
The Simple Wild (Wild, #1)
If You Tame Me
Healthy as F*ck: The Habits You Need to Get Lean, Stay Healthy, and Kick Ass at Life
Don’t You Forget About Me
Healthy Habits Suck: How to Get Off the Couch and Live a Healthy Life… Even If You Don’t Want To
If You Were There
The World That We Knew
The Swallows
Drive Your Plow Over the Bones of the Dead
Lifescale: How to Live a More Creative, Productive, and Happy Life
Ninth House (Alex Stern, #1)
Welcoming the Unwelcome: Wholehearted Living in a Brokenhearted World
A Random Act of Kindness
Thirst: 2600 Miles to Home
Invisible Women: Data Bias in a World Designed for Men
Midnight at the Blackbird Café
Tuesday Mooney Talks to Ghosts
The Weddings
The Lion’s Den
Can You Feel This?
Everything My Mother Taught Me
Zenith Man
Big Dreams, Daily Joys: Get Things Done, Make Space for What Matters, Achieve Your Dreams
Payoff: The Hidden Logic That Shapes Our Motivations
Half-truths and Semi-miracles: A Short Story
Everyone’s a Critic
Worry-Free Living: Let Go of Stress and Live in Peace and Happiness
Universal Methods of Design Expanded and Revised: 125 Ways to Research Complex Problems, Develop Innovative Ideas, and Design Effective Solutions
All This Could Be Yours
Love Poems for Married People
Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: A Therapist, Her Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed
Love Lettering
The Man Who Solved the Market: How Jim Simons Launched the Quant Revolution
After the End
The Color of Style
I Will Never See the World Again
The Bromance Book Club (Bromance Book Club, #1)
Saving Francesca
Once More We Saw Stars
If Only I Could Tell You
Permission to Feel: Unlocking the Power of Emotions to Help Our Kids, Ourselves, and Our Society Thrive
The Curious Heart of Ailsa Rae
The Family Upstairs
A Warning
The Math of Life and Death: 7 Mathematical Principles That Shape Our Lives
The Starless Sea
Where To Begin: A Small Book About Your Power to Create Big Change in Our Crazy World
Call Down the Hawk (Dreamer, #1)
Verity
Where the Forest Meets the Stars
We Are the Luckiest: The Surprising Magic of a Sober Life
Belonging: A German Reckons with History and Home
Watercolor the Easy Way: Step-By-Step Tutorials for 50 Beautiful Motifs Including Plants, Flowers, Animals & More
Creative Journaling: A Guide to Over 100 Techniques and Ideas for Amazing Dot Grid, Junk, Mixed Media, and Travel Pages
Whiskey & Ribbons
What if There Is Nothing Wrong With You: A Practice in Reinterpretation
Lost Children Archive
Catch and Kill: Lies, Spies, and a Conspiracy to Protect Predators
Get a Life, Chloe Brown (The Brown Sisters, #1)
Lawn Boy
Would Like to Meet
Beasts of Extraordinary Circumstance
Everyone Knows You Go Home
You Have Arrived at Your Destination
The Dating Charade
Regretting You
Love’s Executioner and Other Tales of Psychotherapy
Night of Miracles (Mason, #2)
Anyone
The Year of No Nonsense: How a Little Less Bullsh*t Can Change Your Life
When We Were Vikings
A Good Neighborhood
The Lost Book of Adana Moreau: A Novel
The Murmur of Bees
Apeirogon
Observational Sketching
Hidden Places
Oona Out of Order
Patron Saints of Nothing
Seperation Anxiety
It’s not Always Depression
A Keeper
Guests of August
I was purposefully planning to read 100 fewer books in 2019 than I did in 2018, I ended up reading 100 more. I am not going to try to guess how 2020 goes. I will just let myself be. I will try to live my life and read as much as I would like.
Magic I Saw this Week: I decided to take last week off even from writing so here we are. This week and a half has been magical mix of reading and climbing and snuggling.
Magic of Me that I explored Week: some solid 2020 work.
Top Goals Review: just rested
I celebrate: I did a 10c this week. I am proud of myself!
I am grateful for: my husband and all the climbing
This week, I exercised: i did my PT and went rock climbing twice. I threw out my back last week so i took it easier than usual. But i went 5 times the week before.
Weekly Intention: Since this is a super short week till it’s 2020, we’re going to keep this short. I just want to rest and enjoy what’s left of 2019. Here’s to a peaceful week.
Everyday Magic is a year-long project for 2019. You can read more about my projects for 2019 here.
Here are my goodreads reviews. If you’re on goodreads, add me as a friend so I can see your books too! I’ve also started an instagram account where I join my love of reading with my love of art.
Would Like to Meet (2.5 stars): This was a cute book but didn’t really leave me with much to remember. I could tell all the smallish twists well before they showed up and the “obvious to everyone but the main character” types of stories aren’t my favorite, so this one did not make the top of my list. I think this has been the year of cute romance which I love seeing but I am learning (just like i did 5-6 years ago for young adult) that sometimes a genre explodes and part of the task, for me, is finding my specific preferences within that explosion. This one wasn’t for me but you might love it.
Beasts of Extraordinary Circumstance (5 stars): I bought this book almost a year ago and it’s been sitting on my audible queue this whole time. I am not sure why I waited this long to actually listen to it. Maybe the name made me worry it would be scary. And I will say that the very beginning of the book was confusing for me. But I stuck with it and I am so so glad I did.
What a marvelous book!
This will definitely be in the top of my lists from this year. What an unusual, rich, and layered book. What great storytelling. What fantastic characters. What creativity. I loved and adored this one.
Everyone Knows You Go Home (4 stars): I’ve read several immigration related novels this year. This one might be near the top of that list. I’ve loved the small amount of magical realism in this book and the way the story weaves together. Even though I sort of figured out the ending (I am not even sure it was trying to be a twist) but I still felt very attached to the story. Especially the one taking place in the past. Isabel and Martin were less interested partly because I felt they (and their love) weren’t as developed. You didn’t get to see as much of their life’s journey. This story is heart-wrenching and shows the sacrifices people make to pass through the borders and the ways in which our decisions and choices can have consequences that last for generations. A beautiful story.
You Have Arrived at your Destination (4 stars): “But our strengths don’t serve us well in every circumstance at every phase of our lives. As we grow and enter new contexts, our longer-term strengths can suddenly hamper our worldly progress, which in turn can create dissonance at home.”
This was the last book in the Forward series that I’d intended to read but put off. I finally sat down to read it and it was a 20-30 minute read. The idea of genetically creating a kid is not new. In fact, the movie Gattaca talked about this more than 20 years ago. The personality angle was newer and I did like it especially around the concept of second and third arcs.
But the part I loved the most was Sam’s reflection about his own life and the lack of perfection in this whole story that’s really about trying to create perfection. There’s so much packed into this little one novella. I enjoyed it a lot.
The Dating Charade (3 stars): I might have read too many romance books this year. By the time I read this one, I was rolling my eyes at the parts where if only the two characters just sat and talked, this whole book wouldn’t exist. I know that a comedy of errors is a genre and it can be fun at times, but maybe I just need a break at this point. This was cute but really not anything I will remember. I know that writing a book is a lot of work and I would never want to brazenly dismiss that work. If romance is your genre, you will likely enjoy this book. I did. Just didn’t find it exceptional.
Regretting You (4 stars): Remember when I said I’d read too many romance novels this year? Nope, that wasn’t the problem. I am not sure why I felt compelled to read this as soon as I saw someone write about how much they loved it. But I saw it was available in kindle unlimited and I checked it out immediately and basically jumped my queue to read it. I started it and read it straight for 3 hours and then snuck pages in while I was waiting at the movies (side point: we saw “Knives Out” which was excellent) and then I stayed up until 1am to read more of this, and then woke up at 5am wanting to just finish the book already which I pretty much did without a break.
I loved this book.
I loved both of the characters (in fact all 4 of the main characters.) I really enjoyed Clara’s voice and felt it was authentic (at least for me) and loved Morgan’s voice too, especially more at the end. I felt connected to all the characters and found myself rooting for them, feeling for them, living their conundrum and really empathizing in general.
loved this one.
And there we go, a bunch of reading this week, ending my week is 387 reads for the year. Here’s to another great week next week.
Books I Read this Week 2019 is a year-long project for 2019. You can read more about my projects for 2019 here. I am also tracking my books in real time on Good Reads here. If you’re on Good Reads add me so I can follow you, too! I’ve also started an instagram account where I join my love of reading with my love of art.
Weekly Intention: I am officially on vacation this week. I will be going to work a bit on Monday and fully on Wednesday but not working the rest of the week. At least that’s my intention. Let’s see if I can pull it off.
This month’s intention is:Celebrate the Magic: And finally time to rest and relax and bask in the magic of life again. You’ve come a long way. It’s time to celebrate. Honor. Be grateful. Thank 2019 for all that it gave you. Fully bask in it’s magic so you can bid it farewell.Oh yes. time to celebrate.
One way I will show up this week: calm
One magic I will make this week: buy more christmas presents and lots of climbing.
This week, I will pay attention to: listening.
This week, I will be kinder to: myself.
This week, I will focus on pleasing: no one :).
One new thing I will learn this week: i will spend some time on 2020 and learning to climb
I am looking forward to: time off
This week’s challenges: trying to make sure i take time off
Top Goals:
Work: clean out jan calendar. finish conversations. stay on top of email. stats of nbu.
Personal: daily drawing, exercise, journal, make time to sleep. come up with a whitney plan. restart meal plan. make 2020 plan.
Family: family photos, hug kids. date night with jake. hike. climb. xmas presents.
I will focus on my values:
Love: love for time off.
Learn: learn to rest
Peace: with growth.
Service: to climbing.
Gratitude: for togetherness.
This week, I want to remember: everything can wait.
Everyday Magic is a year-long project for 2019. You can read more about my projects for 2019 here.
Magic I Saw this Week: There’s been much magic everywhere but I’ve been tired, hurried, and unfocused most of this week. I am grateful for the holidays that will be here soon.
Magic I Made this Week: The best part of this week has been all the climbing I did. I climbed Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday this week.
Magic of Me that I explored Week: spent some time on my OLW this week.
Top Goals Review:
Work: did not clean out jan calendar. started to have conversations. stayed on top of email.
Personal: did daily drawing, exercised, journaled, made time to sleep mostly. did not come up with a whitney plan. did not restart meal plan. started 2020 plan.
Family: did family photos, hugged kids. had date night with jake. did not hike. climbed a lot.
I celebrate: I did a 10b this week. I am proud of myself!
I am grateful for: people looking out for me.
This week, I exercised: I went rock climbing four times this week, pretty hard, did some of my PT and that was it.
Self-care this week: taking this weekend off was my self care again.
Here are my goodreads reviews. If you’re on goodreads, add me as a friend so I can see your books too! I’ve also started an instagram account where I join my love of reading with my love of art.
Lost Children Archive (3 stars): This was an interesting read about a family on a car trip, covering topics like immigration and family dynamics told from two differing perspectives. The story was wonderful in some parts, and less fast moving in other parts. The language was beautiful throughout.
Get a Life, Chloe Brown (3 stars): There are rare times when the audio format really kills the book for me. This was one of those. I started and stopped this book 4 different times. That has never happened on any of the 375+ books I’ve read this year so far. The narration was so misaligned with the words/spirit/tone of this story that it kept throwing me off and it made it extremely hard to get into the story. What a bummer.
I persevered anyway, even though I clearly should have just switched to book format. I did love the story and yes it was funny and steamy but at parts it felt like it was steamy or funny just for the sake of it instead of seamlessly fitting into the story or as part of character development. I know most people loved and adored this story so you should listen to them over me. I just had bad luck with this one.
But if you’re going to read it, I highly recommend you don’t pickup the audio!
Catch and Kill (4 stars): I wasn’t sure if I wanted to read this book. A friend of mine recommended it to me and I started it right away, but within about 5 minutes or so, I could already feel myself getting agitated and I knew this book was going to make me mad and sad and all the other feelings I wasn’t sure I wanted to have this week.
And it did.
I was angry and sad and disappointed. The extents people will go to to cover their misdeeds requires someone just as tenacious and someone who is not going to back down from intimidation and runaround and that’s exactly what Ronan Farrow did. He would not let this story go. He would not let NBC stop him. He kept going and going and going and uncovering more and more and more horrifying truths.
We are lucky there are still a handful of such journalists left in the world. (And a handful of press publications willing to run these stories.) I am very happy I read this and very thankful for Ranan Farrow’s diligence and persistence.
Lawn Boy (3 stars): This was an unusual novel. Unusual in that nothing really happens in this story. It’s the story of a Mexican American boy who is mowing lawns and living with his mom in the beginning and his journey of recurring attempts to make a life for himself. He tries to find something that will help him get out of the cycle he’s in. There are some really interesting parts of the book, mostly around his observations and experiences of the world and how he’s treated. But then there are parts that just feel meaningless and like they are dragging on. Overall, I liked it but didn’t love it.
And there we go, a bunch of reading this week, ending my week is 360 reads for the year. Here’s to another great week next week.
Books I Read this Week 2019 is a year-long project for 2019. You can read more about my projects for 2019 here. I am also tracking my books in real time on Good Reads here. If you’re on Good Reads add me so I can follow you, too! I’ve also started an instagram account where I join my love of reading with my love of art.
Weekly Intention: If all goes well, this is my last full work week for 2019. I am very very ready for time off and to not think about work for a while. My intention this week is to have the conversations we need to have, to try to be open, present and clear. To advocate for myself. And to remember to pay attention to what matters most.
This month’s intention is:Celebrate the Magic: And finally time to rest and relax and bask in the magic of life again. You’ve come a long way. It’s time to celebrate. Honor. Be grateful. Thank 2019 for all that it gave you. Fully bask in it’s magic so you can bid it farewell.Oh yes. time to celebrate.
One way I will show up this week: clear
One magic I will make this week: buy more christmas presents.
This week, I will pay attention to: my words.
This week, I will be kinder to: myself.
This week, I will focus on pleasing: no one :).
One new thing I will learn this week: i think i will try to spend a bit of time planning but if i don’t that’s ok too
I am looking forward to: spending time planning 2020
This week’s challenges: just a lot of work
Top Goals:
Work: clean out jan calendar. have conversations. stay on top of email.
Personal: daily drawing, exercise, journal, make time to sleep. come up with a whitney plan. restart meal plan. make 2020 plan.
Family: family photos, hug kids. date night with jake. hike. climb.
I will focus on my values:
Love: love for myself.
Learn: learn to let go.
Peace: with struggling.
Service: to growing.
Gratitude: for time off.
This week, I want to remember: it’s going to be okay. i have a lot of options.
Everyday Magic is a year-long project for 2019. You can read more about my projects for 2019 here.
Magic I Saw this Week: This was a really tough week and culminated in an exceptionally tough Friday. So I will say I had a hard time seeing much magic. But I had friends who listened and were so kind to me and I am incredibly grateful for that.
Magic I Made this Week: I finally bought some christmas presents. I went climbing with Jake several times and watched a lot of climbing with him, too.
Magic of Me that I explored Week: not very much this week.
Top Goals Review:
Work: I did clean out dec but not jan calendar. I setup 2 meetings for nbu. stayed on top of email. did not fully plan for team meetings.
Personal: i did daily drawing, exercised, did not journal, made time to sleep. did not come up with a whitney plan. did not restart meal plan. started 2020 plan.
Family: took family photos, hugged kids. did not have date night with jake but we did go and climb.
I celebrate: doing all the 5.8s in the gym in one shot. Only fell a tiny handful of times. worked super hard.
I am grateful for: my manager always being kind
This week, I exercised: I went rock climbing twice times this week, pretty hard, did not do my PT, but went twice to body pump
Self-care this week: taking this weekend off was my self care.
Here are my goodreads reviews. If you’re on goodreads, add me as a friend so I can see your books too! I’ve also started an instagram account where I join my love of reading with my love of art.
Where to Begin (5 stars): This super, super fast read but it’s full of heart and, for me, it was one of those books that makes me stop in my tracks and think about why I am here and how I want to live my life. I loved Cleo Wade’s Heart Talk and I loved Where to Begin. I am so glad writers like her exist and put their thoughts and feelings out into the world. We are all so much better off thanks to their willingness to do that.
Call Down the Hawk (4 stars): Ever since I read the Shiver series many, many years ago, I’ve been a huge fan of the multi-talented Maggie Stiefvater. She is not just the weaver of the best types of stories but her characters jump out of the page and grab me. They are colorful, rich with personality, and full of life. Ronan was my favorite of all the characters of the Raven Cycle so a series dedicated to Ronan was bound to be awesome. But by the time book four came along, I thought I might be done with the series and the characters.
I was wrong.
The Lynch family are just as awesome as I remembered and this story was crazy and chaotic and awe-inspiring in just the way only Maggie’s books can be. I loved my time with it. I am so grateful that Stiefvater is so prolific and continues to don our world with such colorful characters and weaves the most engaging stories.
Verity (3 stars): I put this book on my to-read list way back in January when everyone was raving about it. I bought it both on audio and on book form and then it sat on my ipad for months and months as other library books came and went, taking priority over this book that I owned. In mid-November I finally decided it was time to read all the books I bought this year so I am finally starting to go through the list, this was at the very top due to all the “OMG” reviews.
Alas.
I think because I knew there was going to be a giant twist, I kept waiting for it to happen. I was cautious believing anything in the book. The comparisons to Gone Girl made me suspicious of every character the whole time. And when the twist came, it fell so flat for me. I was like “that’s it?!” I also will say I didn’t actually think the writing was great, the book starts with a gratuitously violent scene and it wasn’t at all relevant. The characters aren’t well developed enough so much of what we know about Jeremy is either from the discovered manuscript or from Lowen gushing over him. For me, the characters did not stand on their own.
It was a good story and I am not sad I read it but maybe the hype really ruined it for me. Maybe if I had read it knowing nothing I, too, would have found it to be awesome. A good reminder to not read reviews before reading a novel.
Where the Forest Meets the Stars (4 stars): Like, Verity, this was another book I bought way back in January because of all the hype around it and didn’t read it all year. But, unlike Verity, I loved this book. I thought the characters were well developed, the story was touching and real and beautiful even if you had to suspend disbelief a little bit about how no one came looking for this little girl (which I felt was explained by the end.)
I loved the characters the most. I got attached to each of them for different reasons and the way they were each broken in their own way by something in their past and they were struggling to live their lives and figure out a path forward felt so real. I loved how they came together and helped each other and added meaning to each other’s lives which is exactly what the power of human connection has the potential to be.
If you’ve been putting it off like me, maybe it’s time to pick it up. I loved this touching, sweet story.
We Are the Luckiest (4 stars): “And here is the thing we must know about our things if we are ever going to survive them: We believe we can bury them, when the truth is, they’re burying us. They will always bury us, eventually.”
I don’t drink.
I never really have. I don’t like the taste of alcohol and I don’t like the idea of losing control and not remembering what I said or did. I also don’t like the way it makes me feel in my body. It’s never been a struggle to not drink for me since I dislike it enough. So alcohol isn’t my thing.
But I have my own list of things. And while my list is not full of things that cause me to black out and not remember chunks of my life, its full of things that are mine and that need to be acknowledged and conquered because they are burying me.
“Not because I was committed to forever, but because I finally realized the future was built on a bunch of nows, and that was it.”
While I was reading this beautifully written, raw, and honest novel, a part of me was thinking, “Well my ‘flaws’, my ‘addictions’ are nowhere near that bad. they don’t harm anyone. they don’t make it so I can’t live my day to day life. They are harmless compared to all this.”
Which is the way we fool ourselves, isn’t it? Life isn’t a comparison game. It’s not about whose stories are the most awful, or who really deserves the biggest shame. It’s not even about the stories we hold on to so that we can stay in the places we are, the places that don’t serve us but are so hard to walk away from. I am not as bad as that, so I can keep doing what I do to numb my feelings, my life, my nows.
“It’s supposed to be difficult. It’s supposed to take everything you have. It’s supposed to take longer than you want and to change you, completely. This often won’t feel good when it’s happening, but nothing worth having ever does.”
When you are high functioning in your day-to-day life, it’s easy to write off these ‘things’ that get in the way, because they are not ‘really’ getting in the way after all. They aren’t causing harm to others and why does it matter if it’s not hurting anyone else?
“But you can decide—by no longer allowing the circumstances of your life to victimize you—that none of it owns you anymore. You can say, Now, I know better. Now, I know different. I am not helpless anymore. And then you can go about doing the hard work of healing. This is the singular, hard truth I come up against every day: I am the only one responsible for my experience.”
And the fact is, life is not about other people. Even if it might seem so. Other people can’t break me, and other people can’t make me. I have to show up, I have to put in the work, and I have to build the life I want for myself.
Even though this book was about McKowen’s journey with alcohol and going sober, it’s about so much more than that. It’s a reminder that if we want life to be a certain way, we don’t get to run away from things. That the only way out is through. That our lives are our own and we get to decide how they go. That it’s hard work to build the life you want. It’s excruciating work. But then you get to have the biggest gift of all: the life you choose.
“To have a direct experience of life. To know its depths completely. To be enraptured in the mystery. To be the hero of my own great adventure.”
This is the kind of book that reminds you that the work of life is always hard and always, always worth it.
With huge gratitude to the author, New World Library and edelweiss for an advanced copy in exchange for an honest review.
Whiskey and Ribbons (4 stars): I enjoyed this sweet story. The characters are well developed, and I found myself rooting for each of them at different parts of the story. It’s heartbreaking, honest, and a perfect read for a cozy winter day. Even though the reader knows what’s going to happen, the three characters telling their stories all weave in and out together and each have their own beautiful storyline. If you like quiet, poignant, and character-driven stories, you will love this one.
Belonging (3 stars): This was a complicated book for me to read. I am not sure how I missed it but I had no idea what the book was about until I started it. And once I started, I wanted to keep going. The format of this book is really interesting and in my opinion makes it a lot more engaging. I generally avoid reading works around WWII so I am not sure what compelled me to keep reading this, but I am glad I did. I liked the honesty Krug displays as she grapples with her family’s history and as she tries to figure out their role during the war. Alas, I am not sure I could move into the space of empathy mostly due to my own background but it’s still important to have books like this and I am glad I spent time with it.
Watercolor the Easy Way (4 stars): I love watercolors and I love making small sketches with watercolors so this book is my happy place. If you’ve never ever touched watercolors before or if you’ve dabbled a little but haven’t really done much, this is the book for you.
The author starts with a few very simple watercolor tips and tricks, some color theory and then it’s all about the specific tutorials. She has a drawing you can copy for each motif and then walks you through how she’s coloring it both highlighting the specific colors she uses, and showing which steps she does first and how she layers.
There are a wide range of motifs: a lot of beautiful flowers, some fun animals, and ordinary things like bikes and food, etc. This is a great book for you to sit with and try a handful of examples at a time. It’s simple, rewarding, quick and enjoyable.
huge thanks to netgalley and Better Day Books for an early copy in exchange for an honest review.
Creative Journaling (4 stars): This fun book has many different examples of dot journaling, junk journaling, mixed media journaling and travel journaling. You also can mix up each of the techniques she mentions and the best part is that most of them are simple and relatively easy to recreate. Sometimes books like these have the potential to be eye candy where they are super stunning but impossible to recreate (which is also fine if that’s all you’re looking for.) whereas in this book, I felt there were layouts that were really pretty and also really doable. For me, that’s my happy place. If you’re into any of these types of journaling, I’d recommend you give this book a try.
with gratitude to netgalley and Quarto Publishing Group for an advanced copy in exchange for an honest review.
What if there’s Nothing Wrong with You? (3 stars): “Now I ask you: what if there IS nothing wrong with you? Think about this question for a moment. For now, I’m not saying there ISN’T, simply asking what if there isn’t? How could that realization change your relationship with yourself? How could it change your relationship with others? Would you have more confidence and courage to do something you are secretly passionate about?”
I loved the idea of this book. The concept behind practicing the idea that there’s nothing wrong with me sounds really powerful to me. I understand that this might not be a thing for everyone but it most decidedly is for me which is why i bought this book after reading about it in a different book. And it’s not a bad book. It’s just that it’s small and doesn’t really have enough depth for me. Maybe that’s really because like most things, I have to put in the work and be willing to do what it takes. It reminded me of Byron Katie’s The Work a bit but I felt that was so much more powerful for me and it’s closer to what I guess I was seeking.
It was still good to read because I enjoy reminders that I have to keep these questions front and center.
And here’s the most amazing, all too true, Ram Dass quote from the book: “When you go out into the woods and you look at trees, you see all these different trees. And some of them are bent, and some of them are straight … And you look at the tree and you allow it. … You sort of understand that it didn’t get enough light, and so it turned that way. And you don’t get all emotional about it. You just allow it. You appreciate the tree. The minute you get near humans, you lose all that. And you are constantly saying ‘You’re too this, or I’m too this.’ That judging mind comes in. And so I practice turning people into trees. Which means appreciating them just the way they are.” – Ram Dass
And there we go, a bunch of reading this week, ending my week is 360 reads for the year. Here’s to another great week next week.
Books I Read this Week 2019 is a year-long project for 2019. You can read more about my projects for 2019 here. I am also tracking my books in real time on Good Reads here. If you’re on Good Reads add me so I can follow you, too! I’ve also started an instagram account where I join my love of reading with my love of art.
