karenika

Daily Sketching – Week 66

Here are the sketches from last week:

Sunday:

Monday:

Tuesday:

Wednesday:

Thursday:

Friday:

Saturday:

that’s it for this week.

Daily Sketching is a weekly project for 2012. You can see a detailed post on my sketching journey here.

Even though I am usually a monotony-loving person, I feel the need to shake things up lately. The problem is I don’t know in what part of my life and exactly how. I have now been keeping a relatively regular schedule of personal activities. I exercise and sketch daily. I do art journaling in the same format twice a week. A collage page once a week. My savor project. And a layout here and there for assignments. I also spend a good bit of time reading. I have sort of slacked on the journaling/meditating/strength work. And despite several varying attempts in the last few months, I haven’t really integrated anything new into my schedule.

And it’s not an issue of time.

I have more free time. Especially for things that inspire and excite me. But I feel too tired to go looking. It’s a bit ironic, I know, that I don’t have the energy to find things that might give me more energy. But here we are.

I want a super-engaging book. I want new blogs/sites that inspire me. I want some new artistic ideas to pursue. New classes to take. A new hobby. A new passion. Ways to grow. People to meet. People to really connect with. I want to feel more alive. I want to experience different things so I can feel that jolt of enthusiasm that comes with the fresh, the new.

But I don’t know how. I don’t know where to start. How to start. I don’t want to let anything go because I don’t think it will help me pick up something new. I tend to be better at making space for something once it inspires me. I have no doubt that if I felt pulled in a new direction, I won’t have trouble letting go of what’s here. I just need to feel that pull.

But I don’t know where to begin.

Any ideas?

Today you took one more small step forward

This is a layout I made for My Mind’s Eye for June.

And the journaling says:
My sweet boy, you have gotten to this place where you’re crossing new milestones every single day. You’re losing the baby teeth, you’re doing homework, you’re making your own lunch, and even breakfast sometimes. You’re growing up so quickly. Today you sat with me and learned to tie your shoes. Yet another milestone. I am so grateful to get to see all these small moments of significance. I love you and adore you.

details:

David’s BoGM – Week 15

And the next spread:

The left side is an amulet one of David’s classmates gave him and the right side is a paper we created when we sat to stamp and color and play.

Here’s the paper that’s tucked in there on the right side.

more next time.

David’s Book of Good Memories is a bi-weekly project for 2012 with my seven-year-old son David. You can read more about it here.

Weekly Diary – July 14 2012

Maybe because I had so many last week, this week was lower on photos. Here are some snapshots from our week:

We took a little trip to the local playground.

The kids loved this closed, winding slide but I was so scared.

I kept thinking they were going to get stuck.

Nathaniel liked to lift his leg while he was inside.

David just liked going down in different ways. I asked him to sit so I could snap one more.

we also went to another playground near the golf course around here. (I even drove on the freeway to get there!) I snapped a shot of my boys.

For some reason I don’t have many from the playground which is shaped like a pirate ship.

but the kids liked running around.

and laughed together.

and steered the ship some.

I realized a few days later that I hadn’t been taking photos so I asked the kids to let me snap some.

I told Nathaniel to lower his head a bit, and I got this.

David is all used to my antics.

then it was family shot time.

we said each other’s names again.

and laughed and laughed.

nathaniel even tried to tickle david during tickle time.

and here we go. i hope your week was lovely, too.

Weekly Diary is a project for 2012. You can read more about it here.

Journey into Collage – Week 28

This page so didn’t turn out how I anticipated. I had this cloth of fabric from a while ago and wanted to do something with it. Alas, not all pages turn out the way we hope.

The quote says: Begin living life today.

Here is one more shot of it:

Journey into Collage is a project for 2012. You can read more about it here.

Art Journaling – Arches Printmaking Set 11

Here are some more pages I did:

The full text reads: sometimes the only way out is through. be brave.

inspired by this photo.

And here’s the next page:

The full text reads: you are the director and star of your life. do not let anyone tell you what you can and cannot do.

Well here we go. More coming next week.

I am creating multiple art journaling pages a week for now. You can read more about this project here. This set uses the Fabriano Roma papers.

An Experience vs the Memory of an Experience

This morning, as I ran, I watched this Ted talk by Daniel Kahneman. Well, I’ve watched the first 7 minutes of it so far (I get to watch the rest tomorrow.) but it already gave me some food for thought so I wanted to share with you.

One of the things Daniel shares is that there’s a difference between an experience and the memory of an experience. He talks about a man who watched a symphony for some time (let’s say 40 minutes) that he really enjoyed. Towards the very end, there was some very loud disruption and the man said “it ruined the whole experience!” Daniel talks about how this is clearly not true. For the first 35 minutes, the man was truly enjoying the show, so it wasn’t the experience that was ruined, it was the memory of the experience. How we remember things is not how they actually were. I think even though we know this, it’s significant to think about it.

Especially because Daniel also talks about some specific ways memory can be tricked. According to his studies, endings matter. In the case above, the symphony ended negatively so it left a bad impression on the man’s mind. They also did studies on colonoscopies. They took two individuals: A and B. A had a short but intensely painful exam. And B had an exam that was twice as long and just as intense for the same duration as A but then it got less intense for the second half. One would think B would rate his experience as worse than A since he had at least just as much pain and had to go on for twice as long. But because the ending of his exam was less painful than A’s ending, the memory of B’s test is less painful in his mind than A’s memory was. So endings matter. Apparently more than the overall experience.

These two ideas led me to think about my own life. I am still struggling quite a bit and working actively and regularly on coaching myself and being acutely aware of the good in my life. There are many moments of joy and peace and contentment in my days but the end of my work days are often hectic and frustrating. And by the time work is over, kids are in bed, etc. I am spent and worn out and I often remember that feeling more strongly than the others in my day.

So to rectify this, I thought it might be interesting to start keeping a “spot check of feelings” log during the day. Where each hour I would take a second to see how I feel at that moment. Am I happy? content? peaceful? frustrated? whatever it is, i note it and move on. This way, regardless of how my day ends, I can look back and see all the moments in my day and not let my memory of my day overwrite the actual experience of the day. If the gentleman at the symphony did that every ten minutes, he’d realize he enjoyed 75% of the show and it might change his overall view. So I am going to see if it works for me.

The other idea I had was to end each day with something really good/happy/calming/joyous. Since endings matter and I know this, why not use it to my advantage? Even if I am dead tired and frustrated, I think I can find a 15-30 minute activity that will turn the last moments of my day around. And if those last moments are so crucial to memory maybe I can “trick” mine by ending my days with a happy moment.

So since I like lists, my plan tonight is to make a list of 10 things that are 15-30 minutes each. Things that bring me joy or peace. Things that I can do at night. I will pick one each night and see if I can trick my memory.

I bet I can.

The Savor Project – Week 26

And here’s the spread for week twenty-six:

here’s a closer up of the left side:

The first story here is about how Nathaniel stretches his lips in an effort to make sure he smiles. The second on is about the waterguns and how much fun the kids had with them.

And here’s the right side:

The first one here is about David and Nathaniel playing at Nathaniel’s school and the second one is all of Nathaniel’s teachers at his preschool taken on the last day of school. Next year he goes to a different school so I wanted to make sure we captured them all.

Art along the bottom as usual.

Another great week. Happy Savoring.

The Savor Project was supposed to be a weekly project for 2012. You can read about my setup here.

A Book a Week – The Adoration of Jenna Fox

I was looking for something super-quick to read so I looked at my waiting young adult list and picked up The Adoration of Jenna Fox. Quick, interesting, and fun. Not nearly as violent as the usual.

the good news is that even though this is another “series” book, it does resolve (at least in my opinion) to a good enough place to leave you less up in the air than the others.

Alas, I think I won’t read the next one just yet. I like to take a break between them usually.

Stepping Back and Letting Go

One of the things Jake and I did a few years ago was to spend time figuring out what mattered to each of us. We made short lists of things that really, really mattered so that the other person could make a concerted effort to focus on them. For example, an item on my list could be “put the dirty dishes in the sink” (this is not an item on my list by the way, just an example!) and so Jake could know that and make an effort to do that thing because he knows it’s at the top of my short list. This way he won’t put the dishes on the counter and I won’t pick a fight over something that’s not on my list.

The thing is, we won’t ever get it all right. When you live with other people you’re bound to have a million little issues. (And big ones, too, of course, but fewer of those if you’re lucky.) This is inevitable. It’s a part of daily life. And it’s not limited to your partner. You can go to Starbucks to get coffee and someone can cut in line. Someone can get your order wrong. Someone can spill stuff on your shirt. Someone can respond rudely. The list goes on and on. These instances are more often and repetitive with your partner cause you spend more actual time with them.

So having this list really helps me. It reminds me of the few things that truly matter to me. And, more importantly, reminds me that I can let go of all the rest. Sometimes we’re in a bad mood and pick a fight for no reason. Sometimes we just want to be right. Sometimes we make things a matter of pride. The list stops me from doing any of these. Each time an issue comes up, I can take a step back and check if this is on my list (and I try to keep my list small and specific so it’s not open to interpretation and bending of truth to fit my mood.) If it’s not on the list, I take a breath and let it go. If I already started picking a fight over it, I apologize and reset.

I am not saying this always works. But when I remember to step back and adhere to the list, it works like magic. It also helps to have my husband’s list so I know what to focus on most when trying to be the best I can. I can’t fix everything all the time, but I can prioritize based on what matters most to him.

I’ve decided that the same setup would work well for work. I had a situation today and once I was able to step back, I realized it didn’t matter that much after all. I was letting my pride and frustrations get in the way. So I took a moment, apologized and let it go. I decided a few weeks ago that my work list only contains one item for now and it’s an item that’s definitely being met. So I am going to let everything else go as it comes up. I believe that remembering my list and remembering that it’s being met is the most crucial thing for my personal peace.

A lot of life, for me, is learning to deal with these moments. I tend to focus on small things and get overly upset, anxious, worried, etc. I am a worrier so I take a lot of stuff on and let it all get to me. Having my list and using it regularly will allow me to keep things in perspective. It will allow me to regularly practice letting go. And I know that the more I practice, the more it will become second nature.

Here’s to being able to step back naturally and let go.