I had so many conflicting feelings about this book. It took me a long time to get into it and to warm up to the characters. I loved that they were all flawed and real but that also meant that they got on my nerves and I can’t say that I ended up liking them even by the end of the book. But they grew on me. And they were real so I found myself invested in their story.
I also usually hate books where the characters have intellectual conversations where it’s clear that the author is using them as a ploy to lecture the reader. It drives me mad and there was much of it in this book. So much of it.
In the end though, when I finished it, it felt like a good meal and I appreciated that I read it. And I did think about it long after.
I was really looking forward to reading this and it did not disappoint. I much prefer slow-burn and character-driven mystery novels and this was exactly that. there are still some surprises around corners but nothing that would be impossible to guess. i loved the characters and setting and really found myself immersed in the story. fantastic read.
I find that my life is a recurring series of feeling like things are smooth and that I am doing what matters most to me and feeling like I am completely off the rails. I alternate between the two and I can’t even tell when I am about to fall off.
The last few weeks have been very chaotic and I am way off my routine and not eating well, not moving enough, not sleeping enough. Not getting enough done.
And I’m a bit sick of it.
Here’s to hoping I can go back on the other cycle soon!
Yes to giving myself grace and yes to getting back on track!
This past week was a full week for us so today I am grateful for the weekend and for hopefully getting a bit of downtime.
This coming week is the first week since school started that we will have no transitions or birthdays. I am hoping that can mean we can slowly start establishing a new routine.
Too tired for anything pithy today. Lately I am making a list of things to let go and release so I can make room for things I want to invite into my life or things I want to lean into more.
I’ve been tired and unmotivated lately. I find myself easily distracted and unable to focus for a long time. Apparently this is normal during a pandemic. (Is there even such a thing as normal during a pandemic??)
I have been trying to figure out how to get back on track to the way my routine and life and productivity was before. Not even sure what the before is in this context. It could mean before this week. Or before March 2020. Or before school started. Or before this busy work season. Likely a combination of all.
What I am trying to remind myself is that there’s no going ‘back’ I can only go ‘forward’ so I get to choose what I want my routine to look like from here onward. And instead of retrofitting what was there before, I get to design a new one that fits into my life right now. I get to choose intentionally.
This way it’s not a reaction to what was there before and a constant comparison. Instead it’s an intentional design to work well with my current life.
As life shifts and evolves, as my moods change, as my schedule changes, I get to lean into it and shift with it. Life is so much easier when I flow in the direction of the current instead of swimming upstream.
America is my chosen county. I wasn’t born here and I worked very hard to move here, make a life for myself, and to become a citizen.
It’s not a privilege I take for granted.
Almost 18 years ago, we left New York City to start the next phase of our lives and to start a family We chose to live in California. We were intentional. California is now the place I’ve lived the longest in. It’s my home.
I love living in California.
I’ve been to the southern tip, right by Mexico and I drove through the northern tip with all the magnificent Sequoia trees along the way. It’s an incredible state, full of incredible people and incredible nature.
Part of being a citizen of here, for me, is voting. Having my voice heard for how I want things to work in my home state. I am very grateful to get to vote. And to get to have my vote count.
Today we had the last of the whirlwind September days. It was my day to celebrate with my hubby while the kids were at school.
We voted and then drove to the city to go to the ferry building where I love drinking coffee and watching the water and the birds. Then we went to a cafe I love in Cole Valley.
It was very ordinary and yet magical to get to take a day off work and give that time to each other again. Between work and kids, it’s not often we can easily find uninterrupted time for just the two of us.
My husband and I have been together for 27 years. I love him so much and I’m very grateful that we still find each other interesting.
Weekly Intention: This is my week to celebrate my birthday. There are things going on at work and at home so my intention this week is just to stay as present as I can.
This month’s intention is:Yes to Possibilities: Time to root and surrender. This is a hard month for you. Transitions are rough. But you also turn 47. It’s magical to get to have another year. Remember the growth mindset. Let go of your preconceived ideas and embrace the possibilities. yes to magic.
One way I will leap this week: i am not sure this week, maybe rest and recover?
One boundary I will set this week: i will take time alone when i need it, i need this this week, too..
One area where I will go deeper this week: sitting with thoughts for 2022.
What do I need to sit with this week? just gratitude
I am looking forward to: my birthday day off.
Focus onCore Desired Feelings (lighter, kinder, enough, magic, wild): a little heavier right now, we’ll see if i can release
This week’s challenges: just waiting until we’re in the clear.
Top Goals:
Work: totally be done with perf, move forward on September deliverables, think of more conversations, remember what matters most.
Personal: celebrate birthday, more journaling and art, find another class, exercise.
Family: climb with J, get david to do class+ACT, find something for N, help the kids with school and J with work
This week, I want to remember: I am so lucky to get to celebrate another birthday.
Today is my birthday. I am so grateful for another year around the sun. Each year I get is bonus and filled with so much joy and so many stories.
I had a very hard time thinking about any presents or special things to do today. The fact is, I have all I need and I am so content and grateful for my life right now. I have a few really good friends, a beautiful family I adore, a home I love, a job that is filled with interesting, kind and smart people.
I have hobbies I enjoy like reading, journaling, and many different kinds of art. I am active and spend time both on the bike and climbing in the gym. I spend a lot of time reflecting on my life and appreciating it.
Sure, there are things I would like to learn and do and be. There are times I feel worried and sad and anxious. There are days I feel tried and bored and frustrated with parts of my life.
But, on the whole, as someone who had big dreams for her life, I see that so much of what I wished for is here in my life and I don’t want to take that for granted. Not for a moment.
As I’ve been practicing saying daily lately, “thank you for everything; I have no complaints whatsoever.”
The Best Part of this Week: The best part of this week was celebrating with Jake on Tuesday and having the day just to ourselves.
I am grateful for: that the plans I had for Jake’s birthday worked out for the most part.
This week, I exercised: I’ve definitely been exercising less lately but i am trying to give myself grace about it.
This week, I said yes to: celebrating Jake.
I said no to: pushing through the pain.
I honored my values (love, learn, peace, service, gratitude): very very grateful for being healthy.
Top Goals Review:
Work: finished my calibration and finished manager perf, did not really forward on September deliverables, did not yet think of more conversations, did try to remember what matters most.
Personal: did some more journaling and art, did not find another class, exercised a bit.
Family: climbed with J, celebrated J, got david to do ACT but not the class, did not find something for N, helped the kids with school and J with work
This week, I want to remember: I am so grateful to make it to 47!
My mood this week was: relatively good.
I am proud of: getting perf done.
I release: the unease and the nervous energy.
Here’s what I learned this week:things are ok, please appreciate them
