This face was made with neocolor watersoluble crayons and gesso for the most part. It’s not one of my favorites but I made a whole range of them this month and this one is there. I like the quote on it which is why I wanted to make sure to post it.

No one can depress you. No one can make you anxious. No one can hurt your feelings. No one can make you anything other than what you allow inside.

This is one that has me thinking often. Even this morning. I had to make a decision at work and one of the engineers didn’t like my decision. It wasn’t an easy one, I thought a lot about it and then had to make a call. A big part of my job is making these calls. They are never easy and I often have to weigh all sides, think things through, and then make a decision between two bad choices. It’s not something I love but it’s something I have to do. Anyhow, I made a decision and he didn’t like it and then he made some snide comment.

And it hurt my feelings.

I was so upset that I had tears in my eyes. (Reason #23463 I am grateful that I work from home.) And then I thought of this quote. He can’t make me upset. He can’t hurt my feelings. He can just make some crappy comments. And I get to choose what they mean. I get to decide their impact on me. I get to choose how I feel.

I get to choose.

I forget this often. I think it’s easy to fall into the victim mentality and act like things are happening to you. What I like about this quote is that it’s a reminder that you are in control.

Let me rephrase: You are never in control of what others do but you are always in control of how you feel about it. Every. single. time.

You get to choose how to feel. What to feel.

And once you claim that choice, you are now in a position of power. You are no longer a victim. You remember that you own your life. Every single part of it, including all of your feelings.

You own everything that you allow inside.

This is one of my favorites from all the faces I made in May so far. I can’t really describe what I like about it. Maybe just that it turned out the way I hoped it would.

The quote says:

You are not a drop in the ocean. You are the entire ocean.

When I first read this quote, I was struck by it. Reading it now, I am still struck by it.

I can’t put my finger on exactly what strikes me about the quote. Maybe the magnanimity of it. How enormous the idea of being the entire ocean sounds to me. As I imagined it more, it made me think about holograms. I remember, years ago, I learned in a human brain class how a hologram works differently than a picture.

If you were to print a photo on glass and then break it, each glass piece would have a part of the photo. If it’s a face, for example, a broken piece might have an eye on it or an ear, etc. But a hologram doesn’t work that way. If you break a hologram printed on glass, each broken piece has the whole hologram on it, just faded. So you’d see the whole face on each piece.

That’s how I thought about this quote. How we’re all the entire ocean. The ocean is made up of all of us. Each of us is a whole piece of it. Like a piece of a hologram. We’re not a part of the whole, we’re each the whole. All of the whole.

Something about that idea makes me feel whole, held, belonging.

It also makes me feel bigger, wider, all encompassing.

I like the idea of all of us carrying the whole inside of us. Not just a piece but the whole thing.

Isn’t that a lovely thought?

today’s face is made on a brown paperbag. I took it from the bagel cafe we go to in the weekends. I then scrunched it up, and then wetted it and scrunched it up once more. Then I flattened it out and let it dry overnight. And then painted on it. It was fun and I like the outcome.

Today’s quote is:

If you want something in your life you’ve never had, you’ll have to do something you’ve never done.

In some ways, this one seems so obvious, doesn’t it? If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get the outcome you’ve always gotten. But even though it sounds relatively obvious when we read it, we still do this all the time. I find that I have lots of areas in my life where I complain about how things go. I find myself frustrated with the end results.

But, I rarely do anything different.

Most of the time, I am just frustrated but I don’t really take action. Even if I don’t know how to fix the outcome, what this quote reminds me is that I need to change something. Anything. The only way to ensure my output is different is to change my input. In any way at all.

So here’s my plan: next time I find myself complaining about the outcome of something, I will see if I can change what I do. Anything that can possibly give me a different outcome. Even if it doesn’t end up being the ideal outcome, I think trying new things will show me what’s possible.

At least, I am willing to try.

today’s quote is:

So plant your own gardens and decorate your soul instead of waiting for someone to being you flowers.

This one had me thinking for a while, too. Maybe this is because of movies or books but I think we always wait for others to do the nice things for us. Part of growing up, for me, has been realizing that I can buy my own flowers. And chocolates. And presents. I don’t need someone to buy them for me.

And even more importantly, someone buying or not buying them for me doesn’t mean anything. I’ve had it both ways and I can’t say that the guy who bought them loved me more than the one who didn’t. Some people are into those little things and do them all the time and others do not. In fact, the guy who always bought me flowers was also considerably less nice to me overall than the one who didn’t.

Who made the rule that we have to be waiting?

Why do others get to decide when we get to have flowers?

Why does anyone else ever get to decide my worth? My soul’s joy?

Part of growing up is owning who you are. Stepping into that fully. Decorating your own soul. Planting your gardens. Buying whatever you desire without waiting for approval. Being not just okay with who you are but beaming in the unique beauty of fully being you.

That’s what I want for myself.

And for all of those around me.

So, I start the process of decorating my soul.