     I started this week with The Book of Joy. This book is one I have to read again and again. Lessons here are wonderful. All of it thought-provoking. I am so grateful for these two amazing people and for a book that captures a bit of them.
I then moved on to Beartown which I knew very little about and in the end it ended up being a tough book to read. But it was very well done and I am glad I read it. Even though it was tough and sad.
I then picked up Ginny Moon which I also knew nothing about. This cute, sweet book was also frustrating at times and I wanted to kick some of the adults in it. But it was one I didn’t regret reading.
I had a lot of books checked out from the library but I wanted to read The Leavers even though it wasn’t next on my check-out list. This book is so layered and there are so many subjects the author tackles. But the one that resonated the most with me was about belonging because it’s something I grapple with a lot. I loved it.
I was so looking forward to Men without Women too since I love, adore Murakami. I love him. Have I mentioned I love him? Even though I don’t love short stories, I still wanted to see if I could like this. And while I don’t love all of the stories, I really liked several of them and I’ll take whatever Murakami I can get.
I am in this weird space where I have a lot of books checked out but many of them aren’t speaking to me so we’ll see what happens this week.
Books I Read this Week 2017 is a year-long project for 2017. You can read more about my projects for 2017 here.
 This card says: When I shine, I listen with my whole body. I turn towards the person, maintain eye contact and hold them in our combined light. I do not focus on my reply or even on what I think about what they are saying. I focus only on them and on what they are saying right now. Right here. I listen.
This is one that I need to repeat 100 times. And I will still get it wrong. Listening means paying attention. It means hearing exactly what the other person is saying. Staying engaged with them and paying attention to their words, to the feelings under those words, to the facial expressions, the body and on and on.
None of which is possible if I am too busy thinking about my week or even forming my reply. If I am thinking, I am not listening. I am not present.
When I listen to respond, I am not really listening. I am not really open to what’s actually being said. As it is, we often listen with so many filters. The person says one thing and we hear something different. When you then add the “replying” to that, I’m really not listening.
There are rare times when I am not too busy thinking about my todo list or any other distracting thought. In those rare times, I’d like to at least listen with my whole body, mind and soul.
And then when I can get good at that, I can work on getting better at doing in when it’s a time when I do feel rushed.
Learning to shine takes many, many, many days.
Shining Means is a Monthly Project for March 2017. You can read more about my projects for 2017 here. You can read about the start of this project here.
Mind:
- I read: I read less than usual this week. Did some idle surfing but it’s ok.
- I learned: I still didn’t watch more of my class on Happiness but I did a lot of math with both kids.
- I watched: I watched some TV this week finally. Not a lot but some! I also watched Glennon’s Soul Sessions speech. I’m still thinking about it.
Body:
- Exercise: none this week except the hiking on Saturday.
- Food: I had protein almost every morning. I ate a lot of salad. I ate some veggies. Things are getting better though I am still drinking too much coffee, not enough water, too much soda.
- All the others: still doing ok on all other things. still love my new shiny makeup.
Soul:
- I rested: Had a few rough nights of sleep but feeling okay. I am frustrated with waking up in the middle of the night too much.
- I connected: with new parents, old parents, and good friends. Good connecting this week.
- I journaled: no journaling outside of here and the shine cards but I have some plans.
- I made art: yes, i made some art!
still slowly up-sloping here.
Nourish Me Week 2017 is a year-long project for 2017. You can read more about my projects for 2017 here.
 This card says: I shine when I assume the best of other people and see what’s possible in every situation. This allows me to be in the most positive space when giving and receiving information. And allows me to approach conversations from a generative space as opposed to a me vs. you space which then allows the best of me to be.
I have found this to be true over and over again. There are two things here that are good for me to remember:
- People are resourceful and whole. This is one of the core perspective changes I learned when I did my coaching training. People do not need “me” to help them. They are whole and capable all on their own and can solve their own problems. What they might benefit from is my asking the right questions or creating the space for them to find their own answers. This assumption is important outside of the coaching/mentoring space because it helps me remember that there are many perfectly valid answers/paths through problems/life. So,
- When I assume the person in front of me has a valid perspective and when I assume they are good people, intending no harm, I am likely to be able to listen to them, hear their perspective, learn, grow and be grateful.
The combination of assuming people are all equally capable and equally wonderful, that allows for conversations that are generative, powerful and inspiring. Then I shine, they shine, we all shine.
Shining Means is a Monthly Project for March 2017. You can read more about my projects for 2017 here. You can read about the start of this project here.
Take your kid to work day was a few weeks ago and even though I was scheduled to take each kid, David decided he didn’t want to miss school. Nathaniel had no such concern so off we went!
We played with this fun Android emoji thing first.
You make a face and it turns it into an emoji.
Nathaniel had quite a bit of fun with it.
He kept trying to stick his tongue out which I think wasn’t a setting they had.
Then he built a lego robot.
He was very attentive.
putting on the axels I think.
Almost there.
And here we are. He then got to race it down a lego track.
Next up was Coding with Chrome.
He spent time chatting with all of them.
He got to code this robotic arm to pick up the chess pieces you see in the back and drop them to the green bucket. He did it in record time and it was awesome!
Then he made some paper parachutes and put them into a wind tunnel to see how well they did.
And then we looked at the dinos.
I told him he had to do a different pose and this is what I got.
But of course he can’t help himself 🙂
Looking for fossils.
He was in such a happy mood the whole time.
We went to see a bunch of animals they were showing (from Africa.)
And finally we went back to the cafe to have lunch with my friend Ramesh who was here from Sydney and then had some ice cream (him) and coffee (me) before it was time to head home.
We took some photos together and you can see he really had fun.
And that was it for Take Your Kid to Work Day. All in all, I think we can call it a success.
Stories from 2017 is a year-long project for 2017. You can read more about my projects for 2017 here.
 This card says: Shining means approaching the world in a collective way. In a way that assumes we are all in this together. That it’s not me vs. the world. It’s all of us together. We are one. Their suffering is my suffering, their joy is my joy. This allows me to be open + giving and to remember there are plenty of cakes to go around.
Oh this is one that I really remind myself again and again. We are all one. If they suffer, I suffer. If they rejoice, I rejoice. I have such a tendency to close off. To go into myself and assume that I am alone and get in my head.
What I’ve learned is that the way out of there is to help others. To show up and do what needs to be done. I have volunteered many times in my life and I always love it regardless of the task on hand. I love getting out of my head and doing something, however small.
Just like other people’s suffering is ours and we need to help fix things together, other people’s joy is also my own and i want to celebrate together. When good things happen to my friends, even if that exact good thing didn’t happen to me, I still want to celebrate. If it happens to her/him, it means it could happen to me, too. We are not each eating slices from the same cake so his/her slice will not prevent me from having a slice of my own. We each get our own whole cake. There are plenty of cakes to go around.
When I remember to look at fellow people as a people and remember that we are all in this together, then I shine.
Shining Means is a Monthly Project for March 2017. You can read more about my projects for 2017 here. You can read about the start of this project here.
Weekly Intention: Oh man, interesting week this week. I have two relaxing work day where I might be able to actually get work done, two days of summits where I am going to miss a lot of meetings but hopefully connect with my teammates more. My good friend Evelyn’s book is launching. And then David leaves for a week to D.C and Nathaniel and Jake go camping for the weekend. And then I will be taking off super-early Monday to go to Seattle. So quite a lot going on. Physically long days Monday and Wednesday. Emotionally long weekend. My intention this week is to spend a bit of extra time with David since he will be gone all week next week. A bit more time with Jake since he was gone last week. And then make a decision about the weekend and whether I want to go camping with them or not. Monday is full but not super full so my hope is that I can spend a lot of tomorrow working really hard both on my todos and on writing docs for work. If I can get that done, I will be on a positive cycle.
Things I want to get Done: Here’s the list for his week.
- Work: more documentation: metrics, roadmaps, modeling
- Work: get closer to three team members i don’t know well.
- Vacation: plan out next weekend a bit.
- Summer: book rowing for david.
- Summer: find a camp for Nathaniel.
- Personal: Exercise twice this week.
- Personal: 15 minutes of art 4 times.
- Personal: Do OLW May.
- Personal: A vegetable with every meal.
- Family: Family photos on Friday.
- Family: Make a decision on hiking this weekend.
- Family: Make eye doctor appointments.
This month’s intention is: May: Help others Shine: Ok now it’s others’ turn. It’s time to be the mirror to their light so it can reflect off of you. Think of ways big and small that you can help people in your life see their own light this month. Smile. Show them how amazing they are. Thank them. I am ashamed i have to write this again but I *still* forgot to write notes!!?! Can I do it this week, you think?
Ways to Shine this week:
- One: Bold: I would like to befriend some people at work.
- Two: Open: Open to both going or staying this weekend.
- Three: Heal/Nourish: Exercise, art, journaling this week.
I am looking forward to: our two-day summit.
This week’s challenges: long workdays are no fun. But the hardest challenge will be letting David go of course.
Top Goals:
- Work: more documentation. connecting.
- Personal: a tiny bit of journaling this week?!
- Family: some just 4 of us time. some david and me time.
I will focus on my core desires (bold, mindful, nourish, love) by: remembering that life is amazing just as is. i can relax.
This week, I will say yes to: slowing down. being present.
This week, I will say no to: worrying too much.
I am worried that: something will happen to david. or nathaniel+jake. I want everyone to have fun where they’re going and to really enjoy the experiences they will be having. I want all of it to go well. I am worried i will eat poorly, not exercise, not journal, not do art. something has to change for everything to change.
This week, I want to remember: to kiss and hug and love my people!
 This card says: Shining means focusing outwardly. Showing people what full attention looks like and reflecting their thoughts + feelings without judgement. Being fully present in their light and letting them see it. Shining it back on them and celebrating them.
I believe everyone is amazing. We are all yearning to connect and be with other people. We are all suffering and trying to share in our common humanity. We are all walking each other home as the saying goes.
I believe that we make each other’s lives better when we show up and choose to be there for each other. When we reflect each other’s light back to each other. When I listen, truly listen and give the gift of my time and attention to someone else, then I am shining.
Then I am showing them how wonderful they are. I truly feel that I have something to learn from every person in my life and if I really listen to them, if I am really open to the gifts they are there to give me, I can receive them. I am grateful each time I choose to deeply connect. And I am even more grateful when I can see the good in each person. I am even more grateful when I can do something to show them their amazingness.
Shining means creating the space to make this possible. Seeing and reflecting and showing and telling people about their light.
Shining Means is a Monthly Project for March 2017. You can read more about my projects for 2017 here. You can read about the start of this project here.
How I shone this week: This week Jake was out of the country so I was alone with the kids. Most of the week, this ended up meaning that I worked in the evenings and tried to get ahead of my plans a bit. I got some work done but of course not as much as I’d hoped. I went to work a bunch, I went to Nathaniel’s school, I had coaching clients, I went to a party for Nathaniel and his classmates and then had a 1-1 with a friend and then went to a social event with parents from David’s school. I did math with both of the kids. I showed up. I tried. I also yelled and wanted to give up and felt hopeless at different times this week. But I got up and kept going and sometimes that’s the best shining I can do.
Things I wanted to get Done:
- Work: I did a lot of documentation but have a bunch more, of course. I did some meetings and scheduled some more. I also booked Seattle, woo hoo!
- Vacation: I made no plans for memorial day. But there’s an event at David’s school and a playdate for Nathaniel, do those count?
- Summer: So I didn’t book a camp for David but we came to an understanding so we will implement that, so now I only have to book one for him and I still need a plan for Nathaniel for a week.
- Personal: Exercise sucked, I suck. I did do art though. But I also didn’t do OLW, though I might tonight.
- Family: I picked up N’s book and we did go hiking. I called the eye doctor but it was closed so I’ll try tomorrow and we took some photos but just on my phone.
Looks like 50-50 this week.
I celebrate: Jake coming back tomorrow!
I am grateful for: all of the bits of my life. my mom. my dad. i am so lucky.
I nourished myself by: going hiking this week.
Reflecting on my worries: i didn’t write enough down but I am going to keep at it. I can make this happen. i am still pretty exhausted but honestly i need to drink water and eat well and sleep a bit more and then we can see. i still haven’t exercised. there might not be solutions but i won’t know until i try. camps will be ok. i did some art! I did some. not all but baby steps.
I let go of: giving myself a hard time. I forgive and i move on.
Core Desire Check-in (bold, mindful, nourish, love):
- bold: i signed up for more bold and scary things at work.
- mindful: i’ve been mindful of the fact that I work a lot more lately. I will give myself grace when I need it.
- nourish: so so this week.
- love: i did so well. and then i failed so spectacularly. but i am trying again.
What made me laugh this week: my friend Kelly and I laughed a lot. I am so grateful for a new friend.
What I tolerated this week: a lot of social events that were hard for me. but i showed up!
My mood this week was: one day at a time.
I forgive myself for: not getting the exercise in gear.
What I love right now: the long, sunny days.
Here’s to a wonderful week twenty!
 This card says: Shining means making choices that bring out the best of you. Making choices that allow you to show, be, feel the best version of yourself. So you can show up and be kind. Be present. Be generous. Be open. Taking the time to be.
This one is a bit of a loaded one for me. There are so many ways in which I need to work on being the best version of myself all the time and if I don’t give myself the rest and care I need, it am definitely not my shining self.
This is what the whole nourishing intent is aiming for. Exercising, eating well, sleeping a lot, nourishing my skin, journaling, reading, learning, taking alone time, giving are all parts of the formula that allow me to be my best self. I need to do all of these regularly. I need to make sure there’s space for every one of them.
When I am well-nourished, I can be the best version of myself. I can show up ready to listen. ready to give. Ready to receive.
Ready to be present.
It’s been quite a challenge lately. I’ve been tired and overwhelmed and when I am in this space, it’s much more difficult to show up and be patient.
When I am shining, though, I am there. Both physically and mentally. I am present. 100%.
Shining Means is a Monthly Project for March 2017. You can read more about my projects for 2017 here. You can read about the start of this project here.
      I started this week with For the Love. I had seen Jet Hatmaker’s book at Bravegirls Camp and then saw Glennon mentioning her and then the book appeared at my library in the same week so I figured that was the universe telling me it was time to read it. I am glad I did.
I then moved on to Anything is Possible which I had been looking forward to reading and I absolutely loved it. There are a lot of tough issues in these stories but Elizabeth Strout can write with elegance and so much tenderness. I absolutely love her work.
I then went back and forth with a lot of books and settled in on Chasing Slow which I’d also been looking forward to reading. In the end, it was an okay read. I loved pieces of it and was ok about other pieces of it. I am glad I read it.
I then moved to The Hate U Give which was powerful, thought-provoking and I am glad books like this are getting published. I knew very little about the book before I started it and read it pretty much in one sitting.
I then moved on to The Upside of Unrequited right after. it was lighter and still poignant for me. I needed the lightness and ended up staying up past 2am to read this. It wasn’t as magical as her previous book but honestly i loved it to bits.
And finally, I ended the week with The One Memory of Flora Banks. This makes three YA novels in a row. It was just one of those weeks. I read this one really fast and kept having a sense of doom like it was going to end terribly and there were some really sad parts but it redeemed itself.
I’m also still reading bits of Storm in a Cup, The Book of Joy, Modern Mindfulness, and The Craving Mind. Nonfiction sometimes requires more patience than i have. Chasing Slow ended up being the 100th book I read this year.
Books I Read this Week 2017 is a year-long project for 2017. You can read more about my projects for 2017 here.
 This card says: Shining means letting go of who you think you “should” be and letting yourself be who you really are. Showing up as the real, authentic you and choosing to show up that way again and again. Always.
Oh man.
I know this one sounds like the same one as Tuesdays, but it’s even more. When I shine, I let others see my authentic, true soul.
It doesn’t necessarily mean that I am being vulnerable, though it can. It just means I am being myself. 100% myself. Whatever that means in each situation.
It doesn’t mean I am being rude, or loud, or putting others down. It means I am being myself and not apologizing for who that is. It means I am wearing what feels right, eating what feels right, and doing what feels right to me. Honoring my true self, my values, my perspective. With kindness, of course.
I often feel conflicted about my sense of belonging which makes it hard for me to be ok showing up as who I am in many situations because what if who I am is not enough? Sometimes I choose not to show up. Sometimes I choose to show up really guarded. Sometimes I choose to show up and do what needs to be done. And sometimes I choose to just show up, and be me.
In those rare times, I am shining. I am not apologetic or rude or loud or quiet. I am just me. I don’t overthink or question everything I do or say. I just show up as me and hope that’s good enough. Those are the moments I want to have more of and the moments I feel I am actually my very best self.
Shining Means is a Monthly Project for March 2017. You can read more about my projects for 2017 here. You can read about the start of this project here.
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projects for twenty twenty-six
projects for twenty twenty-five
projects for twenty twenty-four
projects for twenty twenty-three
projects for twenty twenty-two
projects for twenty twenty-one
projects for twenty nineteen
projects for twenty eighteen
projects from twenty seventeen
monthly projects from previous years
some of my previous projects
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