Weekly Reflection 2018 – 07

How I got Stronger this week: This was a long and crazy week. My new position was officially announced on Monday and I started transitioning. Actually I am still doing a big portion of my previous job so there wasn’t a huge amount of transition yet, as I just started taking more on. This new role will be different, challenging and hopefully impactful. I have a lot to learn and a lot of new relationships to foster. I am optimistic and excited and of course quite a bit nervous, too. I spent a lot of this week focusing on the new job, being present, trying to hit the ground running, etc. I also tried to balance this with being there for all my boys. Jake helped me a lot especially on the former part of the week so I tried to kick it up a notch in the latter part of the week and be there for all three of them. I’ve also exercised everyday even though I’ve been feeling sick. I’m still going forward with the daily yoga.

Top Goals Review:  had several 1-1s already, working on hitting the ground running, kept going with yoga but didn’t add weights as i haven’t been back to the gym and it looks like most of february will be this way, and i will say that i am still completely dropping the ball on nathaniel 🙁

I celebrate: my new job!!

I am grateful for: the support system I have especially at home. my new job will require a lot of help and patience especially up front and I am really grateful for the patience and kindness my three boys (especially Jake!) are extending to me.

Karen’s Points: I will have to revamp these for post Jan. I’ve not being doing too poorly but I’ve also not been actively keeping track so I don’t want to be patting myself in the back without having an actual record. 

A Change I embraced:  uhm, my new job.

I let go of:  being able to jump in and immediately be useful. I will have to spend some time listening and learning. and while that’s hard for me, I will have to deal.

Core Desired Feelings Check-in:

  • Fresh: new job. new people. new ways of working.
  • Magical: this week’s magical moment is my new job. it’s all pretty surreal still.
  • Lighter: i feel lighter now that the news is public.
  • True: despite the changes in my routine, i’ve stayed true to my values and made sure to focus a lot of time on my boys this week.

Where I chose Joy: i connected with my first childhood love and my best friend briefly this week and it was a big moment of joy just getting to chat with him. 

I showed up for: my friend this week and made room to spend time with her 

A Mistake I made this week: I said something hurtful to David yesterday that was passive aggressive and I am really happy that he called me out on it. I don’t believe in sarcasm and being mean through that and i felt embarrassed that I did it. I will do better.

What I tolerated this week: being sick, jetlag, and navigating a lot of unknown.

My mood this week was: excited, anxious and grateful.

I forgive myself for: not getting it all at once. I can do this and i will, it’s ok for it not to happen overnight.

What I love right now: I love that I am taking on new challenges and choosing to grow.


Weekly Reflection is a year-long project for 2018. You can read more about my projects for 2018 here.

Weekly Reflection 2018 – 06

How I got Stronger this week: I spent the first half of this week in Australia, working as much as possible. I am writing this earlier than usual, as I am on the way back. The rest of this week will call on my strength even more as I get in the morning of David’s birthday and will spend the day with him and then have my inlaws in town and spend all of Saturday at the kids’ school volunteering and Sunday having a birthday for David while I am quite jetlagged. So I expect it to be a tough weekend for me and I will have to tap in to my reserve of strength.

Top Goals Review:  got organized + had lots of face to face meetings. i did yoga every single morning (and cardio!) and i am off to celebrate D’s birthday!

I celebrate: going back home! d’s birthday!

I am grateful for: being able to travel for work. having workmates that are wonderful and really really grateful for my boys.

Karen’s Points: I did pretty well on the exercise but that’s pretty much it.

A Change I embraced:  still going on the decaf. it was hard here but i managed it. i am proud of myself.

I let go of:  being able to do some personal tasks like sketching. i spent my time socializing and resting.

Core Desired Feelings Check-in:

  • Fresh: new adventures this weeked for david’s birthday!
  • Magical: This week’s magical moment is celebrating my boy’s day. 
  • Lighter: i am working on letting some things go. it’s hard but i am really trying.
  • True: i’ve stayed true to my values and kept mum still and it’s so so hard.

Where I chose Joy: i chose to balance socializing with reading and resting. finding my peace and joy.

I showed up for: my workmates. both from sydney and seattle.

A Mistake I made this week: my biggest mistake has been not to quit this thing at my kids’ school. i hope to rectify that next week.

What I tolerated this week: another 15-hour flight. jetlag, parties, commitments all coming my way.

My mood this week was: tired. at times too worried. but i am ready to start letting things go.

I forgive myself for: not being able to quit but i will keep trying.

What I love right now: I love that I am going back home.


Weekly Reflection is a year-long project for 2018. You can read more about my projects for 2018 here.

Weekly Reflection 2018 – 05

How I got Stronger this week: This was a weird week because I got on an airplane on Wednesday night and got off the airplane Friday morning in Sydney so I lost a day this week (I get to have it back next week when I fly back.) But even with that, I still exercised everyday that I wasn’t on an airplane. Even while here in the hotel. I’ve also started Yoga while I’m here. I’ve spent time with the kids this week, helping them work. I’ve been doing what needs to be done at work. And I’ve showed up for my husband and my friend.

Top Goals Review:  figured out details. connecting with coworkers. finished whole30 yay! didn’t quit yet. reading a lot. got lunches done and made sheet for jake! woot!

I celebrate: being here in sydney and getting to spend a little time on the beach.

I am grateful for: my husband who is taking care of everything at home, making it possible for me to be here and trust that all is ok.

Karen’s Points: I got full points until the end of January. Now that I am off whole30 and not at home, February hasn’t been as diligent. I plan to restart when I am home.

A Change I embraced:  yoga here in hotel room was fun. 

I let go of:  reacting to the way some interactions have been at work. I’ve just been taking it easy.

Core Desired Feelings Check-in:

  • Fresh: new adventures this week with a weekend alone in sydney.
  • Magical: This week’s magical moment is being so close to the water. it’s my soul place. 
  • Lighter: i am really enjoying the summer in sydney.
  • True: i’ve stayed true to my values and kept mum.

Where I chose Joy: i chose to go to the beach and hear the waves splash. joy joy joy.

I showed up for: my friend, my husband, and my son this week. 

A Mistake I made this week: Nothing wild is coming to my mind at this moment.

What I tolerated this week: a 15-hour flight. a weekend alone. while it’s lovely here it’s also really lonely without my boys. 

My mood this week was: grateful. a bit worried but trying to keep things in perspective.

I forgive myself for: not getting as much done this weekend. I chose to read and relax instead.

What I love right now: I love resting in bed while I am pretty jet lagged.


Weekly Reflection is a year-long project for 2018. You can read more about my projects for 2018 here.

Weekly Reflection 2018 – 04

How I got Stronger this week: I exercised every day this week. I went to two body pumps classes. I stretched and rolled, too. I am also still on the Whole 30 and no caffeine. I helped and supported a few people this week and I was there for my kids and my sister’s kids, too. I did something I am pretty scared of at work and it’s going to take a lot of strength to get through it so I am both excited and scared. I showed up for my kids. I spent time taking care of myself and doing things I like and I also spent some quality time with my wonderful husband. I did a lot of shopping for both David and for myself, which is a miracle because I abhor shopping. Very proud of myself. I also went to the dentist and got a mani/pedi. Phew!

Top Goals Review:  did the spreadsheets! presos not in cycle yet but will be soon. kept going with routine. semi-made plans for feb. still not feeling like making art and i will give myself a break. might have found a class for Nathaniel. spent a bunch of time with all my boys.

I celebrate: taking chances.

I am grateful for: a bit of shopping. being done with david’s trip shopping (mostly.) being given an opportunity. people who are all watching out for me and have my back.

Karen’s Points: I got full points everyday except for two where I didn’t floss. Though I’ve been pretty wishy washy on the self-care.

A Change I embraced:  this week was all about embracing change. 

I let go of:  being able to get my way 100% of the time.

Core Desired Feelings Check-in:

  • Fresh: i took some major fresh steps this week. not ready to share yet tho.
  • Magical: This week’s magical moment is the kids’ conferences. oh and finishing calculus with david!
  • Lighter: this week felt lighter too because the kids had no school on Friday.
  • True: i’ve been trying really hard to speak my truth even though it’s scary. especially at work.

Where I chose Joy: i chose joy with both my kids this week where i said Yes! a lot more.

I showed up for: my friend, her son, my nephews, and my sons this week. 

A Mistake I made this week: well i made some decisions this week that i am praying aren’t mistakes. other than that, nothing specific is jumping out at me. (besides my usual yelling and having to apologize daily.)

What I tolerated this week: a lot of unknown. stepping into the unknown. fear of letting others down.

My mood this week was: scared but excited.

I forgive myself for: possibly taking a step that might be harder on my family but something that felt too good to pass up.

What I love right now: i love how i feel so full. like my cup runs over. i am so incredibly grateful. i hope and pray that it sustains.


Weekly Reflection is a year-long project for 2018. You can read more about my projects for 2018 here.

Weekly Reflection 2018 – 03

How I got Stronger this week: I exercised every day this week and went to two body pump classes. I exercised every day on vacation. I stretched, and rolled and did some form of self-care, too. And still going on the Whole 30 and no caffeine. I do plan to restart sugar and caffeine in February but this is part of starting the year well for me. I also spent a lot of time connecting this week with my friends. Strengthening those bonds. I went on a date night with my husband. At work, I made progress but still paced myself and didn’t let work take over connection, exercise, family, or alone time. I drove 6 hours of the 8 hour trip back from San Diego (which would have been unfathomable just a few years ago.) 

Top Goals Review:  working on the spreadsheets. okrs are close to done. keeping going with my personal routine. didn’t find a class for Nathaniel but will look this week.

I celebrate: our vacation again this week it was wonderful.

I am grateful for: our date night. we went to see The Shape of Water which was magical.

Karen’s Points: I got full points everyday and I’ve been making a concerted effort to keep up with everything. Some of it is getting repetitive but I am sticking with it for now.

A Change I embraced:  I had to figure out how to make exercise and vacation work. But I did. (And whole30, too!)

I let go of:  getting work done over the 3-day weekend. i let myself enjoy vacation.

Core Desired Feelings Check-in:

  • Fresh: trying to have a fresh perspective on vacation and what it means and what needs to be a part of it (togetherness) and wha doesn’t (bad food.)
  • Magical: This week’s magical moment is date night with my husband. 
  • Lighter: a short week is wonderful, especially when monday is the off day. 
  • True: i’ve stayed true to my goals and honored my values this week on vacation.

Where I chose Joy: I chose to spend more time with connecting this week and work piled up a bit but there’s always a lot of work so i chose joy. 

I showed up for: my friend and my son this week. 

A Mistake I made this week: I was rushing out the door this week so when one of the managers was trying to tell me something, I made a quick thank you remark and dashed off. I missed an opportunity to have a deeper conversation and possibly came off as rude. I did apologize but the conversation opportunity was still missed.

What I tolerated this week: piling email. i have way way too many now. 

My mood this week was: rested after vacation. grateful and still taking it slow.

I forgive myself for: yelling very badly when david lost his phone (which was not lost but on the school bus.). i need to get better at this but in the meantime i need to give myself some (a lot of) grace.

What I love right now: I love how I mostly feel calmer than usual. Mostly.


Weekly Reflection is a year-long project for 2018. You can read more about my projects for 2018 here.

Weekly Reflection 2018 – 02

How I got Stronger this week: I exercised every day this week and also went back to the gym at work and did three Body Pump classes even though I was feeling all sore after the first one. I woke up on Monday morning and it was pitch black, pouring rain, but I still did my short cardio, got dressed and drove in for my 7am class just to drive back home at 8am when it was done. I am so proud of myself. I created more boundaries with some of the volunteer work I do at the kids’ school this week. I also tried to show up for work but also for myself. I’ve been working hard on myself. But even at work, I am working on taking things less personally and panicking less in general. 

Top Goals Review:  ready for the meeting, went back to the gym and sent off david’s round one. woot!

I celebrate: our mini vacation

I am grateful for: a long weekend

Karen’s Points: I did well this week too. I got full points everyday and I’ve been making a concerted effort to keep up with everything. 

A Change I embraced:  I quit caffeine this month as well and that’s been challenging even with the tea since I usually drink black tea. I’ve been experimenting with several herbal teas, trying to find one that I like the most. 

I let go of:  working myself into a frenzy at work. I am trying to pace myself better.

Core Desired Feelings Check-in:

  • Fresh: I am exploring what it looks like when I drop my assumptions at work and at home. I have so many things churning in my head at all times and I am trying to pay attention to the noise so I can work on clearing it a bit. It starts with paying attention.
  • Magical: This week’s magical moment is beautiful Southern California. The sun, the ocean waves, and the palm trees. Makes me wonder why we ever left San Diego.
  • Lighter: I will say that the vacation helps me feel lighter too. Just taking a bit of time off. 
  • True: I’ve been speaking up at work and trying to make sure I am honest with my perspective.

Where I chose Joy: I didn’t want to take a vacation, i am always happier at home. Or so I think. It’s not that I am happier at home, it’s that I am happy enough at home and inertia is always strong with me. So I chose joy by taking my family on vacation. 

I showed up for: for Jake this week. 

A Mistake I made this week: This is not unique to this week but I made it this week so I am going to document. When I feel like I am disappointing someone or letting them down, it really makes me trigger. So then I go on and on yelling or being upset because this other person put me in a position where I have to let them down. There are two major things here: if i don’t want to do it then this is part of boundary building and I have to teach myself that i am choosing to let this person down and i can apologize but i don’t need to get all wound up. It’s not about them, it’s about me. And secondly, I need to learn that I am going to let people down and it’s part of life. Ideally I’d do it as little as possible and less to people I love but even then it will happen. I don’t need to make it worse by yelling I can apologize and leave it at that and learn to get comfortable with the feeling of discomfort that will bring. 

What I tolerated this week: a lot of non-work related meetings. i had clients and school meetings and it took away the little free time I had. 

My mood this week was: i felt energized in the beginning of the week after I went to the gym.

I forgive myself for: reading less this week, there wasn’t enough time. also for being difficult.

What I love right now: I the waves hitting the beach, my favorite nature sound.


Weekly Reflection is a year-long project for 2018. You can read more about my projects for 2018 here.

Weekly Reflection 2018 – 01

 

How I got Stronger this week: I woke up every single day this week and exercised. I was quieter and more reserved. Or I tried to be. I went to bed early every night. I showed up even when I didn’t feel like it. I showed up for my friend, several times. 

Top Goals Review:  I started my food plan, finished reviewing david’s essays and did todo list for work. Matching still needs a bit more work. So does my calendar.

I celebrate: starting my exercise and food regimen. I am really proud of myself. especially for the cardio which is so hard for me.

I am grateful for: this being a light week. there was no traffic and i was able to work from home all week and it was just a lovely transition. 

Karen’s Points: I did well this week so far. I’m keeping track on a spreadsheet and journaling daily about my thoughts. It’s not easy. I don’t love the exercising and I do want to quit it all every day, but I promised myself I’d give it a try so I am not quitting until that’s over.

A Change I embraced:  Waking up and exercising first thing. Adding cardio. These are big changes for me. Oh and I guess the Whole30 counts, too 🙂

I let go of:  sugar and caffeine this week. it was really really really hard. 

Core Desired Feelings Check-in:

  • Fresh: Hmm fresh new way of looking at food this week.
  • Magical: This week’s magical moment is when I snuggle up with Nathaniel in bed in the dark and we laugh and hug. I love it so.
  • Lighter: I’ve been taking it easier at work so far. Doing things but trying not to feel panic around them and just taking it all one step at a time.
  • True: One way I’ve stayed true to myself this week has been going to bed really early. I’ve gone to bed between 7-9 all week and it’s been wonderful to rest.

Where I chose Joy: Hmmm….I think I’ve had a lot of joy taking my kids back and forth to the school bus this week. I know that sounds odd, but I love those moments together. 

I showed up for: for David this week. He lost his backpack so I ended up having to drive all the way to the school but it was worth it. (He found it!)

A Mistake I made this week: I didn’t respond the way I would have liked on Friday when he lost yet another item.

What I tolerated this week: Feeling hungry and tired all week. 

My mood this week was: meh. but not bad. just sort of slow.

I forgive myself for: not getting as much done. taking it slow.

What I love right now: I love the slow start to this year. I love that I am trying to be more level-headed. I hope I can continue some of this attitude and perspective.


Weekly Reflection is a year-long project for 2018. You can read more about my projects for 2018 here.